Jamie Oliver arrived outside Downing Street earlier this afternoon, Eton mess in hand, to shout into the wind about how much he wants to make food more expensive in the middle of a cost of living crisis. Outlets like GB News claimed he’d “stormed Downing Street”, although really he’d just shown up outside the gates and wasn’t allowed in. It was cold and rainy, and only about 200 people showed up despite Oliver’s rallying call to his 15 million followers…
His interview was the best bit, though. Explaining why he wants fast food advertising and two-for-one deals banned, he claimed it was because parents don’t get to see their children much, himself included, and he wants to make the high street “safer“. For the avoidance of doubt, he then admitted he wasn’t very clever. Guido was busy eating a pizza while all this was going on, although he’s reliably told it stopped raining just as Oliver left.
Guido can reveal that turkey twizzler-stealing Remainer chef Jamie Oliver is in the process of trying to collect names to put to his new anti-trade lobbying letter, to be sent to MPs over the weekend. In the letter he takes aim at “the wrong kind of trade”, which Guido can only presume by the rest of the letter is the ‘free’ kind. Oliver alleges that free trade deals could “damage child health, as shown by past trade agreements between Canada and Mexico and the USA where obesity rates increased dramatically.” This is, of course, bonkers.
His claim appears to be based on one academic paper (reported in The Guardian) claiming that a free trade deal between the US and Mexico led to an increase in childhood obesity rates in Mexico. Yet the paper was based on the fact that US companies and products – such as McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Doritos, and Coca Cola entered the Mexican market for the first time. It argues that these new brands, introduced in the 90s, are linked to an increase in childhood obesity. Oliver either hasn’t read the research he’s referring to, or is unaware that these companies already operate in the UK and sell to UK consumers…
The suggestions in his lobbying letter would also set back underdeveloped countries, targeting farmers in Africa and other developing nations in particular with trade barriers. Fair trade only when it suits…
Read his barmy nannying letter below, before it hits MP inboxes:
After spending most of the last three years trying to blame the poor performance of his overpriced, mediocre restaurant chain on Brexit, Guido was surprised with the news earlier this week that none other than Jamie Oliver had apparently seen the light on Brexit. While Oliver still said he thought Brexit was “a really, really bad idea”, he had decided he now “believes in democracy” and wants us to “get on with it”. He even took up championing a new trade deal with the US. A tear ran down his face. He had learned to love Big Brexit.
Unfortunately it appears his Damascene Conversion has not lasted long, as Leave.EU have found. Following their celebration of the chef’s new-found love of democracy, Oliver’s legal team sent them a cease and desist letter, claiming his pro-Brexit statements are not accurate – despite them being direct quotes from him in an interview with The Times. His U-turn wouldn’t have anything to do with the news that Oliver’s hated turkey twizzlers could be making a comeback at schools in the event of a no-deal Brexit…?
George Osborne has turned heads with his suit, jumper and trainers combo at Davos this week, complete with a white sole trendy some time in early 2016. He’s with Amal Clooney, fighting injustice in a Chanel haute couture ivory dress on sale at £9,875, styled with a pair of Paul Andrew “Escarpins en daim”, which retail at £290. David Cameron sits back and chillaxes in his natty suede boots, perhaps a new purchase paid for by his speeches in Switzerland this week. Then we have Gordon Brown, who has grown his grey locks long for a slightly Beatles feel. He’s chatting to Shakira, her Latin roots showing through her wavy honey blonde hair with sun-kissed highlights and strawberry blonde lowlights, kept healthy with sulphate-free shampoo. She also poses with Jamie Oliver, slightly out of place with his spivvy over-gelled hair and flasher’s mac. It’s the place to be seen…
Jamie Oliver is all over the BBC today after announcing that he is to close six of his Italian restaurants due to “post-Brexit pressures”. This is not the first time Jamie has blamed the economy for having to shut down his restaurants. In 2014 he closed three of his three of his four Union Jacks eateries after claiming they were “no longer sustainable in the current challenging climate”. Nothing to do with the dire reviews panning the over-priced food on sale. Then Jamie’s Italian in Istanbul came a cropper, filing for bankruptcy just 14 months after it opened. Anyone who has had the misfortune of forcing down a distinctly un-Italian meal at a soulless Jamie’s Italian will agree with the many, many reviews panning the chain. As Tanya Gold wrote of his “boastful, narcissistic” restaurant in Soho:
“The pasta is well-seasoned but overcooked; the Crispy Italian-Spiced Duck Leg has never dreamt of Italy, let alone quacked there… All this is a hoax inflicted on the clients… by Oliver’s fame… an ‘Italian-Style’ Harvester selling overpriced food that does not know where it is from.”
Is it that the economy keeps conspiring to force Jamie to close his restaurants? Or is it that overly-salted, overly-priced food isn’t popular with punters…
Fresh from celebrating the sugar tax while hawking his own sickly sweet recipes, Jamie Oliver today announced that he was “in shock” over the government’s new obesity strategy. In a hand-wringing Facebook post, the once-naked chef complained:
“Where are the actions on irresponsible advertising targeted at our children, and the restrictions on junk food promotions?”
“Junk food promotions” like this Taste the Difference advert from when Oliver was in a deal with Sainsbury’s estimated to be worth between £1-2 million per year? In the “1,000 Tables” advert, Oliver struts through a market town, passing by and singing the praises of literally 1,000 different types of food – many of them brimming with fat, sugar, and salt (as handily pointed out in this video). In one scene, Guido counted 10 varieties of cake on a single table – all while gaggles of young children run and laugh around the set. What is it about losing his multi million pound Sainsbury’s sponsorship deal that has prompted Oliver’s clean-up advertising campaign?
