The Brexit noise is helpfully letting both the government and the Labour Party sit on the promised reports, investigations and decisions which followed the recent string of Westminster scandals. Here’s Guido’s run-down of the unfinished business from the past few weeks (and earlier)…

Jared O’Mara: Jared hasn’t been seen in Westminster since the scandal around him erupted in October and he hasn’t voted in the months since. He – or more likely, his whip – is submitting a number of very general written questions and signing the odd EDM to give the impression things are still ticking over. Jared is still under investigation after losing the Labour whip. He’s been off for weeks…

Keith Vaz: An investigation into Vaz by the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner is somehow still ongoing after a complaint was made about his rent boys and coke binge in September 2016 (Kathryn Hudson better hurry-up, she’s due to step-down by the end of this year). Vaz hasn’t voted since 18 October, though he did speak in the House last week. He is currently rumoured to be on a trip to the Middle East…

Damian Green: Westminster was on tenterhooks awaiting the release of Sue Gray’s report last week, but it didn’t materialise. It was rumoured to be on the agenda again yesterday but failed to appear. Putting off the inevitable seems to be distracting Damian from his job liaising with the DUP…

Mark Garnier: Remains under Cabinet Office investigation after the Mail on Sunday reported allegations in October that he sent an aide to buy sex toys and called her “sugar tits“. What on earth are they doing, interrogating the sex shop owner?

Kelvin Hopkins: Former Shadow Culture Secretary Kelvin Hopkins lost the Labour whip in November. The party is still investigating a complaint that Hopkins sent inappropriate text messages and made inappropriate physical contact at a student event in 2014. He is voting in line with Labour but hasn’t spoken since 25 October. No update from Labour…

Ivan Lewis: Labour is still investigating a complaint against Lewis, who denied allegations of sexual harassment after a woman said he touched her leg and invited her to his house when she was 19. He hasn’t voted since 31 October or spoken in the chamber since 25 October. No update…

Dan Poulter: MPs say they haven’t seen Dr Dan around Westminster since the Sunday Times reported allegations against him on 5 November. His office told the BBC he’s “on sick leave”. He last voted on 31 October and hasn’t spoken in the chamber since 11 July. The new Conservative Party disciplinary committee is yet to report its findings… 

Charlie Elphicke: Elphicke’s friends say is still unaware of what allegations have been made against him. He was told in November that allegations had been passed to the police, but there has been no news of any action. In the meantime, Elphicke is still without the whip. The chairman of his association recently backed him…

Stephen Crabb: The former Welsh Secretary is still under investigation by the Conservative Party for allegedly sexting a 19-year-old who applied for a job in his office in 2013. No update…

Chris Pincher: He resigned as a government whip after allegations in the Mail on Sunday that he had un-tucked the shirt of a male Tory. Pincher referred himself to the police. No news as to the outcome…

Daniel Kawczynski: Referred to the Tories new disciplinary committee in November following allegations that he pressured a young researcher to go on a date with a businessman ‘older than her father’. Nothing heard yet…

Jack Lopresti: A former staff member complained about Lopresti’s behaviour and a probe was launched last week. The complaint came via the Tories’ new code of conduct hotline…

What do Sue Gray, Kathryn Hudson and the Tory and Labour party internal inquiries get up to all day?

It is getting very nasty in Filton and Bradley Stoke, where Tory MP Jack Lopresti has called the police in after claiming he is the victim of a “vicious smear campaign” from members of his local association who are trying to deselect him:

“For the last month my family and I have been subject to a vicious smear campaign with racist overtones…

There have clearly been illegal data breaches where private parliamentary emails have been accessed and handed to the media. The local Conservative party has potentially also had a data breach. I have informed the police this morning and will expect them to carry out a full investigation…

I can only think that this is as a result of personal choices I have made in my private life, which some may not have approved. I love my fiance Andrea and love and am extremely proud of my young son Clifford and nobody will ever be able to change that.”

Guido understands that those attempting to deselect Lopresti sided with his ex-wife after he had an affair with Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns. All a bit Jeremy Kyle…

Things are getting nasty in Filton and Bradley Stoke, where Tory MP Jack Lopresti faces a deselection battle. Guido hears the all-powerful association executive is on Team Lopresti, yet the members want him gone and have organised a petition to the executive to let them have a vote. On Monday the anti-Lopresti faction sent a letter to members calling for him to go. In response the local party chairman Barbara Lewis has emailed all members claiming a data breach and threatening to sue whoever is organising against Lopresti. She says: “When the person who sent it is identified, appropriate legal action will be taken”.

Bit of a stretch calling it a data breach, there are only a few dozen members and they all know each other personally. The anti-Lopresti faction have dubbed the move “Soviet“. Love rats, legal threats and poison pen letters. To think Labour types used to moan about Momentum… This is far tastier!

A move is on to deselect Tory MP Jack Lopresti in Filton and Bradley Stoke. This letter is circulating among association members who want rid:

“This is an opportunity for you to decide whether you wish Mr Lopresti to continue to be our candidate… 

“There are many of us who feel very strongly that Mr Lopresti is not representing our constituency in a very good way.

“Locally there are several excellent people who are already on the CCHQ approved candidate list and would love to have this opportunity to represent us. We feel that one of these people should be given a chance.”

In 2015 Lopresti found himself on the front page of The Sun when he was exposed for having an affair with fellow Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns. Many members of Lopresti’s local association strongly sided with his jilted ex-wife…