It may only be Seb Payne’s first week in the driver’s seat at Tory think tank Onward, although that hasn’t stopped the obvious speculation about what might come next. Appearing on Iain Dale’s All Talk podcast this week, Payne was noticeably evasive when questioned on what his long-term plans might well be. Arriving armed with “a variety of Boris Johnson-esque answers ready” to swat away the speculation – hint hint…

“…I think what I would say is I’ve got this really good opportunity at Onward, that is my singular focus at present. And who knows what the future will bring… I am fully focused on Onward…”

Dale wasn’t letting him off, with Payne eventually conceding “the reason that I’m saying what I’m saying, Iain, is because I have just started a new job, and talking about what I might do in the future is not helpful towards the new organisation.” He did at least add that when he ran to be college president at university, he used “No Payne, No Gain” as his slogan. Might come in handy again at some point…

Never one to go soft on her criticism, former Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson has once again let the world know her unguarded views of the PM. Speaking to Iain Dale during his Edinburgh Fringe show last night, Davidson claimed:

“[Boris] once described being Foreign Secretary to me as like being enclosed in a steel condom. I found it odd because I hadn’t asked him. I think he meant the amount of attention he had from Civil Servants to make sure he didn’t say anything. Imprisoned in a steel condom is what he said. I’ve never heard that as a phrase […] it would certainly affect performance, but this is not my area of expertise as I think you’ve already covered.”

Inevitably, Dale shot back with “I’m quite surprised that Boris Johnson knows what a condom is”…

Cringe moment from Iain Dale on his LBC local election results show last night as he recounted a voter anecdote about an elderly voter to Jon Ashworth. Just one problem: it was a very long-running Twitter meme…

“I was seeing someone on Twitter earlier saying that they went into the polling station and a 95-year-old lady was there saying “where can I cast my vote on beergate” and she got a round of applause from other people. I don’t know where that was.”

There was a 93 year old lady at the polling station. Registered blind. In a very loud voice she said "how do I vote against beergate!" Everyone cheered.

— Sam Freedman (@Samfr) May 5, 2022

For those uninitiated, the meme was born on polling day for the EU referendum in 2016, when one Brexiteer Twitter user “over-egged“ the anecdote for a few retweets. Prompting immediate parodies…

There but for the grace of God go any of us, though very sporting of Iain’s producer to share the gaffe on Twitter. Older co-conspirators may also be interested in Guido’s previous explainer on the other key related internet term, “sh*tposting“…

Iain Dale on Sky News:

“They’re obsessed by people going on Sky News which has the most minuscule audience you can imagine. I’ve never understood that, why do they do that when they’re talking to essentially a Westminster village wankathon, where only people in the media and politics actually watch it.

Ordinary people do not watch Sky News; they might have it on in a hotel room if they’re in a hotel, but how many normal people have Sky News on at home during the day or the evening? I would venture to suggest very few.”

After a week of the media continually failing to highlight guest experts’ party affiliations, this morning started off the same, with Sky News failing to inform viewers that Faiza Shaheen was the Labour Party’s Chingford candidate a few months ago. For the first time during the outbreak, an exasperated CCHQ vented their frustration on Twitter, asking Sky why there was no mention of her political CV.

No mention from @SkyNews that Faiza Shaheen is a Labour activist & a Labour General Election candidate in a key target seat in 2019? pic.twitter.com/aHGl4qVolN

— CCHQ Press #StayHomeSaveLives (@CCHQPress) April 20, 2020

Adam Boulton waded in with his usual tweeted rebuttal, shortly before Sky News ‘corrected‘ their editorial decision

She was on with Iain Dale previously a Conservative Candidate and Tory staffer. We didn't make a point of that either. We are talking about Now. https://t.co/e54CBtomiR

— Adam Boulton (@adamboultonSKY) April 20, 2020

It wasn’t long before the two guests themselves waded in, with Faiza arguing Iain Dale’s previous Tory-affiliations weren’t mentioned, and Dale parrying with the fact he stepped away from political activism 10 years ago and has voted for other parties since.

As ever, we’ll leave it up to Guido readers to decide who won this one…

Whatever happened to the watershed?