Nicola Sturgeon’s Sister Clarifies She’s “Not Psychic”

Up in Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon’s sister Gillian has finally settled the question of whether the Sturgeon family possess psychic powers. Given Nicola’s apparent ability to read the minds of the Scottish electorate every time she mentions independence, this had long been a floated conspiracy. Now, however, the truth emerges.

Taking to her public Facebook page last night, Gillian posted a furious riposte to her critics after claiming she had dreamt of Deborah James’ death the night before her passing:

Just to clear up. I posted about the passing of a beautiful woman the other day.

⚠️⚠️⚠️There was nothing psychic in the post.
I had a dream because I was thinking about her that day.
Anyone that thinks ( only the bullies ) that my post was anything to do with being psychic are deranged.
Never have been. ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
Now sweet dreams & I might dream tonight that Scotland win the referendum…. Oh but everyone knows that will be the case anyway !!!!”

This will come as a disappointment to the SNP, who will presumably now have to rely on actual data to determine the “settled will” of Scotland…

mdi-timer 1 July 2022 @ 10:34 1 Jul 2022 @ 10:34 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Sturgeon’s Sister Claims Nicola’s Being Bullied Like Princess Diana and Mary Queen of Scots

Ahead of Sturgeon’s appearance before the Salmond enquiry this morning, Nicola’s sister has been loyally pleading for the First Minister. She accuses those who question her account – or call for her to resign over lying to the Scottish Parliament – of “bullying” her, comparing Sturgeon to Princess Diana and Mary Queen of Scots. Presumably if she does now resign, Elton John will have to rework Candle in the Wind to ‘Goodbye Scotland’s Thistle’…

Gillian Sturgeon posted on Facebook last night:

“Words damage. Actions hurt. Bullying kills.

“At no time is bullying ok at any age and within any organisation…

Princess Diana. Mary Queen of Scots. Anyone threatening the high and mighty establishment is subject to this kind of behaviour.”

According to Gillian, her family were “in bits” last night after the Scottish Tories sensationally called time on the saga and finally said the first minister must resign over the new evidence that came to light. Sturgeon’s sister continued:

“The man that helped her reach her dream has helped destroy her.

“I hope he can sleep at night and all his unionst chums”

Guido presumes unionists had a hard time sleeping last night given the anticipation of seeing Sturgeon up before the harassment committee at 9am…

mdi-timer 3 March 2021 @ 08:33 3 Mar 2021 @ 08:33 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments