Sports fans among Guido’s co-conspirators will recall one of the biggest examples of leftie pearl-clutching in recent times: the commentariat’s outrage at the 2021 Saudi takeover of Premier League club Newcastle United. Labour MP Mike Amesbury raised the issue in the Commons: “Is the Saudi Arabian Public Investment Fund a right and proper and fit for purpose owner of Newcastle United?” Comrade Clive Efford added: “It may be one thing for the morally bankrupt Premier League to accept money from Saudi Arabia, but for the UK government to turn round and say it welcomes its investment is another thing.” Labour frontbencher Chi Onwurah intoned: “I think it’s important to say that in utterly condemning this atrocious, horrific massacre [executions in Saudi Arabia], I speak for many, many of my constituents and Newcastle United fans”. All perfectly fair points…

The woke elite of football punditry were quick to join the bandwagon. Always outspoken Labour Party supporter Gary Neville worried: “How were the Saudi Arabians accepted into the Premier League? We don’t know. There’s no transparency and there’s no independence.” Specifically criticising the Saudi acquisition, he said: “there will always be question marks about them”…

You’d be forgiven for wondering, then, why Labour and left aren’t sheikh-ing their fists at the impending Qatari takeover of Manchester United (Guido’s football insider sources say the deal may come to the crunch soon). It’s not clear what moral distinction there is to be drawn between the Saudis and the Qataris – both states have an authoritarian grizzly charge sheet. Officials are reportedly sceptical about the Qatari bid, according to Bloomberg, particularly given controversies surrounding bidder Sheikh Jassim bin Hamad Al Thani. Once again, the leftie outrage bus is curiously selective…

Labour, which recently enforced a boycott of the Qatari World Cup on its MPs, is keeping a studied silence. As for the football commentariat, the fact that luminaries such as Lineker (£1.6 million) and Neville (£10 million) pocketed Qatari cash for their TV work surely cannot be relevant…

With two years left to rebuild the Red Wall, Labour are finally splashing the cash where it counts: they’re hiring a “Celebrities and Endorsements Manager” to become a friend to the stars. For up to £53,711.77 over the next three years, the professional bag carrier will be expected to ingratiate themselves with rock stars and millionaires to win their support ahead of the election…

“The post-holder will be responsible for engaging celebrities and other high profile individuals in the work of the Labour Party in order to secure their endorsement, participation in events and wider support for the work of the Party.”

The vacancy is still live on the Labour Party’s website. If you fancy pouring Gary Neville’s tea and grabbing a few selfies, you have until January 15 to get your CV in. Surely this is the perfect job for the son or daughter of a famous Labour luvvie. Early application is advised…

Many viewers of ITV’s coverage of the World Cup Final were displeased with one instance of pre-match pontificating, and none more so than Lee Anderson. The MP took to Twitter to call out Gary Neville, who utilised his platform to proclaim “we’ve got a current government in our country who are demonising rail workers, ambulance workers and, terrifyingly, nurses”. Moralistic lectures don’t hit so hard when delivered from Qatari TV studios…

Another party political broadcast by a millionaire. Looks like ITV is on my banned list now. Talk about football Gary and keep your nose out of politics. You don't know what you're talking about. pic.twitter.com/LA0PXdp1hl

— Lee Anderson MP (@LeeAndersonMP_) December 18, 2022

Gary responded that he was pleased with Lee’s reaction, calling the Conservatives “the biggest set of charlatans to ever be in power!”. Lee didn’t take this attack lying down – he challenged Gary to stand against him in Ashfield. Neville rejected the offer, before getting another shot off:

You voted to stop children eating school meals in a pandemic! That ends any debate you will ever enter with anyone!

— Gary Neville (@GNev2) December 19, 2022

Though Anderson hit right back, pointing out that Gary, so keen to argue for workers’ rights, was less happy to practise what he preaches. His hotel employs British staff on zero-hours contracts. Quite the own goal.

Guido has found yet more instances of Gary’s low-pay double standards. Indeed reports that his hotel has wages at just £7.50 an hour, whilst Neville’s Salford City F.C. makes the most of unpaid labour to coach its women’s team. Gary also has held extensive investments in Malta, a country with its own problems with workers’ rights. “Detesting low pay” doesn’t extend to his own businesses…