Sub-par Shadow Ministers shouldn’t expect to waltz straight into a government department if Labour win in 2024. Despite publicly insisting he’s “happy” with his current team, party insiders say Starmer is still planning to fast track certain newly-elected MPs “straight to ministerial office” after the election, quickly dumping lacklustre performers and replacing them with trusted Blairites. There’s a general view that with so few shadow cabinet members having government experience, courting back old faces with the immediate promise of a red box will project competence. It’s the same justification used for appointing Sue Gray as Chief of Staff. The likes of Douglas Alexander wouldn’t be spending much time on the backbenches…

Rumours continue to swirl about the return of other ‘big beasts’, including David Miliband. When asked about a comeback on Andrew Marr’s show last November, the former Foreign Secretary didn’t rule it out. He’s amping up his UK media appearances recently – despite being based in New York – having showed up on Sky News just last week. Whether he’d be offered the same job again to tease him back is another matter; David Lammy is expected to stay put. By coincidence Guido has noticed that an increasing amount of fundraising advertising for the International Rescue Committee (President and CEO, David Miliband) can be seen on screens in the UK. Featuring David Miliband of course:

Elsewhere, another ex-Labour MP is rumoured to be plotting a triumphant return: Dr Paul Williams up in Stockton South. Not exactly a big beast, although after so many NHS strikes, it’s good to hear doctors are at least looking to get back to work…

On the day Labour launches its big attack on government expenses and taxpayer waste, former cabinet minister Douglas Alexander is busy celebrating his return as a Labour candidate for East Lothian at the next general election. Following his selection last night, Alexander claimed he’s “humbled and delighted” to be standing, and is promising to “get down to some serious work to ensure a Labour victory“. This is, of course, the same Douglas Alexander who spent over £30,000 on expenses renovating his constituency home, and paid back £12,600 over the renting out of a “building next to his flat” between 2001 and 2005…

At the time, his spokesperson said he repaid this only “for the avoidance of doubt“, and denied any wrongdoing. Among the expensed items he claimed for his second home were a CD player, bed sheets, and new garage doors. All apparently essential for his work as an MP, and so at the gift of the taxpayer. The timing of the announcement of his return today will not please the Labour press office… 

UPDATE:  From the archives we’ve pulled out some more examples of Douglas Alexander’s carelessness with taxpayer funds:

• He claimed £2,000 for household items lost in a fire after he declared that he was “under-insured”. He ended up repaying the £2,000.

• He spent taxpayers’ money on advertising himself at football and rugby league matches. According to the Telegraph he took advertisements on pitch-side hoardings and in match programmes:

Adverts that should have been paid for out of Labour Party funds instead were charged to the taxpayer…