Sir Desmond on ‘Brexit-Created’ Food Shortages

Responding to allegations Brexit has caused food shortages, Sir Desmond asks DEFRA Secretary Therese Coffey:

“If only I had been told before I voted for Brexit that it was going to cause frost in Morroco, I could have made a different decision, couldn’t I?”

mdi-timer 23 February 2023 @ 11:18 23 Feb 2023 @ 11:18 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
WATCH: Desmond Swayne Praises Hancock’s “Sheer Spunk”

While Matt may not be King of the Jungle, at least he’s still got a friend in Desmond Swayne. Speaking this morning during DCMS questions, Swayne hailed Hancock’s tenure down-under as such a success that he deserves to have the whip restored on merit alone.

“[For the] sheer spunk of my right honourable friend the Member for West Suffolk’s contribution to television, it would be churlish not to restore the whip, wouldn’t it?”

Culture Secretary Michelle Donelan joined in commending Matt for swallowing bits of animals “with gusto”, though reminded the House she doesn’t have the power to restore the whip herself, no matter how many anuses Hancock chewed through:

“As my right honourable friend will know, that is not a decision for me. But we can always depend on the Member for West Suffolk to attack every challenge with gusto. And I wasn’t surprised at all to see him taking on all sorts of parts of animals during the show…

Donelan then went on to insist that, unlike two of her predecessors at DCMS, she has no plans to head to the jungle herself any time soon:

“…it has become a little bit of a thing for my predecessors to join that show, but I hope that I can provide reassurance that I have no intentions of ever doing so.”

Guido can’t imagine why…

mdi-timer 1 December 2022 @ 10:50 1 Dec 2022 @ 10:50 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Next PM: Who’s Backing Who*

The race for the next Tory leader is officially on with Boris Johnson set to announce his resignation plans. While furious Tory MPs lobby for him to go now and install Raab as a caretaker PM, candidates to replace him are already coming out of the woodwork.

Last night Suella Braverman, while refusing to quit the government, both called on Boris to go and announced she will stand for leader. This morning Sir Desmond Swayne became the first MP to declare his support for her.

On The Today Programme this morning, Steve Baker said he was seriously considering a run after consistently placing in the top 10 of the Conservative Home members’ poll of preferred Tory leader.

Guido’s, therefore, launched his usual Tory leadership spreadsheet. As per, usual caveats apply: Tory MPs are the slipperiest, least truthful, least trustworthy and duplicitous electorate imaginable. If they are doing well candidates deliberately hide their early support to give the impression of growing momentum.

Guido’s list is compiled from what we are hearing and from those who have advocated publicly for a candidate. Here’s who we think is backing who so far – get in touch with with any updates.

*Yes we know it should be whom. But no.

Full spreadsheet at

mdi-timer 7 July 2022 @ 11:47 7 Jul 2022 @ 11:47 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Sir Desmond Swayne Suggests Afghans Shouldn’t Be “Queueing at the Airport”

Sir Desmond Swayne failed to read the room when he intervened during Starmer’s speech to say:

“[Starmer] wouldn’t want the government of this kingdom to be overthrown by a wicked and brutal regime. I venture that he would want a leading role in the resistance. He wouldn’t be queueing at the airport, would he?”

Which some seem to have taken as a suggestion Afghan refugees shouldn’t be leaving the country at all. Suspect Swayne was referring to men of fighting age. Calls of “shame” and “disgrace” from the Chamber were perhaps not entirely justified…

mdi-timer 18 August 2021 @ 11:03 18 Aug 2021 @ 11:03 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
More Tory MPs Come Out Against Conference Pass Plans

With numerous MPs coming out of the woodwork yesterday to announce planned boycotts of conference over a potential vaccine passport policy, Guido can understand why Tory chair Amanda Milling tried to assuage nerves in the MP group chat yesterday, sayingNo decisions have been made”. It seems George Eustice didn’t get the memo…

On the morning media round, the DEFRA secretary basically confirmed the plans, sayingwe need to keep these tools at our disposal at the moment”, and telling Sky News that

“as I say it could be that business conference, including possibly party conferences where you have large numbers of people indoors there could be a case for it there, we haven’t ruled that out.”

Guido can reveal further Tory MPs’ displeasure at the news. A couple of members have said while they had no plans to attend conference this year, they’re not happy with the news:

Craig Tracey:I wasn’t planning to be at Conference this year anyway, so not something I’ve considered. I don’t agree with the concept of vaccine passports though”

Anne Marie Morris: “is opposed to the use of domestic vaccine passports but hasn’t attended conference for a number of years as she feels it’s a waste of time, that could be far better used being in the constituency… On that basis, you could say she’s been ‘boycotting’ conference long before the issue of vaccine passports came up.”

Greg Smith MP noted Milling’s wobble, though he said he remains wholly opposed to vaccine passports.

I am booked to go and am double jabbed, but am very sympathetic to the point that the Conservative Party should not discriminate against people because of their health choices/records. Hopefully the Party does not go down this route!”

Sir Desmond Swayne says he will go to a vaccine passport-ed conference given he’s already paid, though issued the warning that he will be there in a capacity to “stiffen the Resistance”. It’s a good point from Sir Desmond – if every anti-vaccine passport MP and member boycotts, there’ll be no one there to push the arguments…

mdi-timer 23 July 2021 @ 11:09 23 Jul 2021 @ 11:09 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Sir Desmond Swayne Calls for Whitty and Vallance to be Sacked

MPs were subjected to a very passionate speech by Sir Desmond Swayne this afternoon; ever a leading Covid-skeptic the MP called for Chris Whitty and Patrick Vallance to be sacked over their fear-mongering speech last week, along with asking whether the PM has been “abducted by Dr Strangelove and reprogrammed by the SAGE over to the dark side”. Based on conversations Guido’s had, this is exactly the sort of straight-talking debate many backbenchers are craving…

mdi-timer 28 September 2020 @ 17:14 28 Sep 2020 @ 17:14 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
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