David Pemsel is the CEO of The Guardian and a 51 year-old married man. Above are some of his texts to a twentysomething female colleague. He was about to transfer to become the CEO of the Premier League. Unfortunately now these texts have come to light that won’t be happening. According to one Guardian source “it is amazing really, the common consensus in Kings Place is that the only person he fancied in the whole building was himself.” Pemsel’s wife is not impressed about his attempts to play away either…

The Guardian itself has only a very curt report about the matter, saying only his Premier League transfer won’t be going ahead “following media disclosures”. No doubt they tell us the full story in due course…

The Guardian has published their accounts and reported on them in the paper as well. The report’s headline claims they broke even. If you read the actual accounts you will discover they did not.

The bottom line says they lost £16,600,000 after exceptionals, before exceptionals they lost a mere £7.4 million, just under £1,000 an hour, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. The billion pound Guardian endowment made £42.9 million profit on “investments held at fair value”. Add the investment income from the endowment’s shareholdings to the losses and abracadabra the Guardian breaks even.

Claiming the Guardian broke even last year is “fake news”. The fact is GMG plc holding company made an overall profit thanks to investment income entirely unrelated to the company that produces the newspaper. Before you go, Guardian Media Group’s chief executive, David Pemsel has a small favour to ask, can you contribute to his total pay package of £706,000 a year?

David Pemsel, The Guardian CEO, says…

“It’s very easy to look back and say the Guardian has made mistakes…”