The self-styled, self-appointed ‘alternative SAGE’ shadow committee will hold their first press conference shortly. In not-so-surprising news this publicity savvy committee is made up of hyper-political scientists, many of whom have a grudge to bear against the government. Among its membership are actual communists, Labour Party donors, activists, Corbynistas, “anti-Zionists”, Brexit conspiracy theorists and even a former Greek MP. Guido brings you an extraordinary rundown of eight members of the twelve strong committee here…

Chair: Sir David King

• Disastrously advised Blair and Brown to promote diesel cars
• Lost his job as the Government’s Special Representative for Climate Change under Boris as Foreign secretary. Subsequently emerged as a leading critic of Boris
• Promoted the conspiracy theory that Boris and Brexit are ‘alt right’
• Complained that the Conservative Government didn’t put him on the media enough with regards to climate change, telling the Guardian “It was absurd. Here was Britain doing more than almost the rest of the world put together on this issue and I’m kept off the public airwaves”
• Pushed for a second EU referendum

Professor Susan Michie

• Member of the British Communist Party of 40 years
• Donated £14,000 to the Labour Party under Corbyn
• Wife of former Corbyn SpAd Andrew Murray
• Mother of Labour’s Head of Complaints Laura Murray

Dr Zubaida Haque

• Claimed Labour antisemitism stories were ‘weaponised religion’ being stoked by “Steve Bannon politics“
• Called the government a “far-right Conservative govt.”
• Defended Shamima Begum’s citizenship
• Fabian Society writer

Professor Elias Mossialos

• Greek MP for the Panhellenic Socialist Movement (PASOK) (2009-2012)
• Former State Minister and Government Spokesman in George Papandreou’s cabinet
• Authored “Leaving the EU poses ‘critical threat’ to NHS” paper
• Former head of EKON, Rigas Feraios, the Greek Communist Youth

Professor Gabriel Scally

• Labour activist
• Donated thousands to Labour
• Labour policy adviser
• member of Labour policy forum

Professor Christina Pagel

• Anti-Brexit campaigner
• Labour activist and Labour List writer

Professor Allyson Pollock

• Author of a conspiracy book “NHS plc: The Privatisation of Our Health Care”
• President of the Socialist Health Association
• Senior trade unionist
• Campaigned for a ban on tackling in school rugby matches
• Multiple attacks on Tories on social media
• Claimed Brexit “will axe the right to health”
• Vocal Corbyn supporter, called Blairite MPs “bullying”, “backstabbing” and “undemocratic”
• Wants to nationalise old people’s homes

Professor Martin McKee

• Anti-Brexit activist
• Board member of ‘Scientists for EU’
• ‘Core team member’ Healthier IN the EU
• Called EU referendum ‘criminal’
• Questioned if Corbyn was really a negative for the Labour Party

Professor Anthony Costello

• Attended Labour Party Conference
• Continual Labour Party campaigning and activism on line
• Claimed “Labour is better for the economy than the Conservatives”
• Claimed “Tories have brought division and rancour.” 
• Claimed “no one should vote for this heartless, uncaring Tory government”
• Promoted discredited No Deal disaster capitalism conspiracy theory
• Claimed a general election would destroy the Conservative Party

Guido looks forward to this political committee’s ‘impartial’ advice…