Official handyman to the Remain campaign Charlie Mullins has revealed his business Pimlico Plumbers is enjoying its biggest ever trade boom, despite Brexit. Mullins’ firm enjoyed year-on-year sales up 30% to £9.7 million in the last quarter, including its first ever £3 million month in October and further soaring sales of £3.4 million in November, before sinking to an impressive £3.2 million in December. Mullins was tapped up by BSE to campaign against a Leave vote, which he claimed would be a wrench on the economy, a drain on sales and cause employment to plunge:

“I think we are going to see a rocky road out there, I think it’s going to affect the economy and we are going to see job losses.”

Charlie now spends his time funding Gina Miller’s calls for a blockage of Article 50 even though he knows his business isn’t going down the pan. That’s enough puns, don’t want to faucet…

Guido likes Charlie Mullins – his Bentley Mulsanne worth £300,000 is the deserved reward for his graft and enterprise with Pimlico Plumbers. His personal number plate “CH4RLE” cost him £90,000. Which is, Guido understands, about the going rate for a charlie habit…

Guido has bumped into Charlie a few times at parties (the plumber) and can remember when he was a Eurosceptic. Nowadays for some reason he sports a Remainers poster on the side of his Bentley, pictured here stopped at the lights at Buckingham Gate. Sending out that “Fatcats for EU” message loud and clear…