Milton Keynes MP Ben Everitt has had his bare chest brought into a superheated argument over nuclear waste in his constituency. Everitt posted photos of himself swimming and sunbathing back in August, now they’ve been used by the Labour leader of Milton Keynes City Council Peter Marland to accuse Everitt of taking “thirst trap” pictures instead of working on stopping a new nuclear waste site.

“I am not a liar. What you should do […] is that the MP in question should put his shirt on and should stop taking ‘thirst trap’ pictures”.

Marland’s claim that Everitt “plans to dump nuclear waste in Milton Keynes” was quickly dismissed as drivel after it turned out that a routine Nuclear Waste Services meeting was what got Labour hot and bothered. Must be why Everitt didn’t bother wearing protection from radiation…

The latest update to the register of members’ interests is out, meaning Guido has spent the morning trawling through the fresh additions so you don’t have to. Two more MPs have come slaloming in behind the five Guido previously named for taking all-expenses paid skiing trips in the Swiss Alps. Ben Everitt received flights, accommodation, a dinner, ski instructor and ski pass whilst Sara Britcliffe just took a dinner, the skiing lessons and pass. The costs added up to a cool £3,500 between them. 

Of course, Ben and Sara weren’t the only MPs to do well for themselves:

• Dan Carden, Conor McGinn and Mark Jenkinson all received hospitality tickets for Liverpool vs Chelsea.
• Daisy Cooper received a surprisingly dear £517 from the BBC for travel… to Derby.
• David Lammy has exposed the superficial motivations of Labour’s Qatar World Cup boycott, as he was more than happy to take an all-expenses paid trip to the UAE – where same-sex relations are punishable by imprisonment – worth £8,900.
• Penny Mordaunt, Robbie Moore and John Lamont were treated to catered tickets to Twickenham for the Six Nations – priced at £1,000 each.
• Rishi received £4,000 from James R Campbell for his constituency. Every little helps.

Though, the award for biggest fleece must surely go to Bob Seely as he took home £1,500 for appearing on TalkTV’s First Edition. That must work out to around £1 per viewer…

With MP WhatsApp groups so prone to leaking these days, it might seem sensible for members to share jokes offline to avoid controversy. In this vein, Tory MP Ben Everitt recently turned up to his Commons office to find the door covered in memes: one featuring the recently-deceased TB-riddled alpaca Geronimo alongside Princes Diana, and another showing Harambe the Gorilla riding Geronimo through the gates of heaven. Anything to brighten the place up…

Everitt claims it was a “welcome back gift from an undisclosed colleague” and he’d been so busy this week he “didn’t get around to taking it down”. He says the list of suspects is too long to organise any revenge dish…