Novara Attempts Stalin-Style Re-Writing of History

More Fake News from Norovirus Media this morning, as millennial Communist-in-Chief Ash Sarkar tried to erase Corbyn’s conspiracist record from history. Unfortunately for her, Guido kept the footage of Corbyn saying ”I suspect the hand of Israel in this” referring to a 2012 Jihadi terror attack on the Egyptian police. Norovirus is spreading (fake news)…

McDonnell Pledges to Nationalise Corbyn’s Cat

Appearing at Novara Media’sRadical Variety Show‘ yesterday, John McDonnell came up with a raft of new left-wing policies to win over the electorate, including nationalising Greggs and Jeremy Corbyn’s Cat, El Gato. McDonnell also joked a number of times about how his comments were going to be written up by the right-wing press, Guido is happy to oblige…

The night of entertainment, which also included mojito making with Diane Abbott and a game of political charades, peaked with John McDonnell being asked to play ‘wheel of public ownership’. Watch the highlights below.

During the game the Shadow Chancellor shockingly went as far as to accuse Corbyn of mistreating his cat, El Gato, saying “the life that cat lives: forced to tour around that allotment, forced into a vegan lifestyle. And if there’s anything that needs to be brought into public ownership it’s that cat”. Guido’s sure the radical proposals will give the public paws for thought at the election…

Leftists Turn on Caroline Lucas

Caroline Lucas managed to achieve the remarkable feat of uniting right and left against her with the daftest proposal of silly season so far for an all-woman (and all-white) emergency ‘cabinet of national unity’ to take over and block no deal, “because women have shown they can bring a different perspective to crises, are able to reach out to those they disagree with and cooperate to find solutions”. Just women Caroline likes though, not women like Priti Patel, Liz Truss, Gisela Stuart, or apparently Diane Abbott.

Corbynistas who used to go dewy-eyed at the mere mention of Lucas have now been rapidly unpersoning her. Guido has rounded up some of the more enjoyable reactions…

Diane Abbott herself shut down the idea with an uncharacteristically sensible response. Thornberry, who was approached by Lucas to the fury of the Corbynistas, also poured cold water on it:

However it was Ellie Mae O’Hagan who saved the best till last, identifying the true enemy: centrism. Corbynistia has always been at war with Lucasia…

Lucas’s latest idea is never going to fly, as Guido has already noted, wild fantasising about ‘national unity’ PMs is this year’s silly season activity of choice. However there is a school of thought that by deliberately putting out an obviously daft idea and getting everyone talking about it, Lucas is helping to shift the Overton Window to make a ‘national unity’ Government under someone less bonkers seem more reasonable. Guido won’t be holding his breath…

Tory Minister’s Remain Love-In

Despite Boris’s insistence that all Ministers have to be on board with leaving the EU on the 31st October, deal or no deal, it seems not all of his new appointments are quite so enamoured with his policy. Transport Minister George Freeman this morning appeared on the Huffington Post podcast ‘Commons People’ and launched into an anti-no deal rant, claiming that “WTO long-term” would be an “absolute disaster that would leave my party out of office for decades”. Not exactly the Downing Street line to take…

Freeman freestyling on message doesn’t seem to just be confined to podcasts, his Big Tent Ideas Festival this year has a rather unexpected lineup for an event originally billed as coming from the “small c, pro-enterprise, innovation and reforming branch of Conservatism”. Guido is struggling to tell it apart from a Labour fringe event:

  • Seema Malhotra. Labour MP
  • Lisa Nandy. Labour MP
  • Darren Jones. Labour MP
  • Peter Kyle. One of the chief agitators for a second referendum
  • Ash Sarkar. Literally a communist
  • Damian Collins. Former Carole Cadwalla-borator-in-Chief
  • Nora Mulready. Former Change UK Candidate
  • Ayesha Hazarika. Former Brown, Harman and Miliband advisor
  • Isi Daley and Amanda Chetwynd-Cowieson. Full-time Remain activists
  • Miatta Fahnbulleh. CEO of nutty hard-left think tank NEF
  • Jacqui Smith. Former Labour Home Secretary
  • Erica Ramos. NUS and second referendum supporter
  • Rory Stewart. One of the most right-wing people there…

In Freeman’s defence there are some Tory Brexiteers going including Bob Seely, Penny Mordaunt and Liam Halligan, although they’re firmly in the minority. He’s going to need a pretty big tent…

Literally Misty-Eyed Corbynistas

Ash Sarkar is usually a smooth performer on TV, her “I’m literally a communist” riposte to Piers Morgan went viral and launched a dozen t-shirt sales. On Marr yesterday she claimed “The idea that Corbynistas have been misty-eyed about Venezuela is largely a myth.” Unfortunately they literally were misty-eyed for the Caracas Corbynisim…

This video compilation is roll call of misty-eyed Corbynistas, including Corbyn himself. Suemas Milne, Owen Jones and Diane Abbott all lauding Venezuelan style socialism as a template for Britain. Voters are being warned…

H/T: Video compilation by Ben

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Quote of the Day

Responding to Corbyn’s statement that the US should have arrested ISIS leader, al-Baghdadi, John Mann bluntly tweeted:

Baghdadi blew himself up with a suicide belt. An arrest might have been slightly difficult in these circumstances.”

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