Leaked Burnham Draft Manifesto Reveals Made-Up Stories About Women

Guido has obtained Andy Burnham’s draft manifesto for the Manchester mayoral election, which is set to be unveiled tomorrow. The section above is particularly moving, telling the tragic stories of a woman “who found it difficult to find work and was forced to take up a zero-hours contract”, as well as another woman “who had her retirement plans ruined and has now lost her independence”. All very unfortunate. Just one problem: these stories are not real and the women do not exist. Despite the apparently personalised stories, there are no names in the draft text, instead the letters “XXX” appear as Team Burnham try to find women who fit the gloomy narrative. Struggling to find case studies for their tales of woe? 

For those interested, here is the draft manifesto in full:

Andy Burnham’s Immigration Flip-Flops in Full

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Today Andy Burnham calls for tougher controls on immigration, in fairness something he has backed multiple times. The only problem is he has backed down every time he got tough. Let’s look at that flip-flopping record:

In 2010, he told the Telegraph that his party was “in denial” on immigration:

“We were in denial. We were behind the issue all the time, and myths were allowed to develop. There’s still an ambivalence among some in Labour about discussing immigration. I’ve been accused of dog-whistle politics for doing so.”

But in August 2015 at the Mirror leadership hustings he was happy to attack Cameron for the same ‘dog-whistle politics’:

“It’s disgusting to have a Prime Minister who refers to a swarm of migrants and it confirms there’s no dog whistle that these Bullingdon boys won’t blow.”

A month later in September 2015 he argued for tougher immigration controls, saying:

“For too long, we have argued that free movement across Europe benefits everyone and affects all areas equally. That’s just not true … Labour hasn’t faced up to that, and that’s why we look out of touch.”

However the next month he slammed Labour’s infamous “Controls on immigration” mugs:

“I am not responsible for all Labour party merchandise. I didn’t purchase one of those mugs myself and I am not particularly proud of them.”

In June 2016 he argued against an immigration cap:

“The Conservative party are realising it’s a mistake to put an arbitrary number on the whole issue. It is much more complicated than that… The numbers will go up and down according the the current health of the economy.”

And today he wants to get tough. He’s been on quite a migrant journey…

Owen Smith Staffer Breaks Burnham’s Toe

Andy Burnham angrily told an aide that “some little sh*t” had broken his toe during the Labour v Lobby football match on Sunday. Which member of Her Majesty’s press corp was responsible? Guido can reveal it was in fact an aide to Owen Smith playing as a ringer for the journalists’ team. Who once again ended up on the losing team…

Sharp-elbowed Burnham was also involved in a fracas with a young political correspondent, telling him: “F**k off, you f**king pr*ck”. Calm down, calm down…

Burnham to Finally Quit Shadow Cabinet

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Andy Burnham is to finally quit the Shadow Cabinet, because he has won Labour’s nomination for Manchester mayor. Which gave us a rare sight of Andy’s victory face. He’ll also be standing down “at the first and earliest opportunity” as an MP, so there’ll be a by-election in Leigh. At last he can leave the Westminster bubble!

Burnham Comes Last in Two Manchester Hustings

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Scouser Andy Burnham running for Manchester mayor was always an odd one. The Everton fan’s Twitter stream is full of opposition from local Mancs who would rather have Stretford boy Tony Lloyd in the job. So it’s not surprising that Burnham’s campaign has bombed – he came last in the Co-Op Party hustings last week, and came last again in the Gorton CLP hustings last night. Lloyd won both by a landslide. Maybe Andy’s just too Westminster bubble…

Via Helen Pidd

Northerners Mock “Grim Up North” Burnham

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Burnham played up his Northern credentials when he threw his hat in the ring to be Labour’s Greater Manchester Mayoral candidate:

“It’s hard growing up in the north: if you say you want to be a doctor, lawyer or MP you get the mickey taken out of you.”

Sounding like the seventh Python won Burnham no favours. A series of prominent Northerners in politics and the media took to Twitter to take t’piss out of the shadow home secretary. Dr Who writer Gareth Roberts tweeted “Ee by ‘eck Andrew so-called Burnham wi’ your la-do-da Labour Party I’ll go t’t foot of our stairs” while Barnsley-born Jack Tindale asked if his running mate would be a “kestrel”. Even a local councillor piled in to tell Burnham to do one…

Burnham Betting on Brexit

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Cambridge student newspaper Varsity quotes Andy Burnham as describing the EU as “remote”, “arrogant”, “anti-democratic” and an “elite capitalist club“. Even more intriguingly, Burnham told students at the Cambridge Union that he would put money on Britain voting to leave:

“If I was to lay money on it now, tonight, I would bet that Brexit is going to win, and I don’t like saying that, but I feel that from talking to people in my own constituency… The mood is not to stay in”

Another helpful Labour contribution to the Remain campaign…

H/T @KulganofCrydee

Labour’s Consistent Flip-Flopping on Surveillance

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Labour have put out a statement boldly claiming they have “consistently” raised doubts about Theresa May’s Investigatory Powers bill. According to Sir Keir Starmer:

“Labour has consistently argued that the extension of surveillance powers can only be justified if accompanied by much improved transparency and ever-more robust oversight and scrutiny.”

Have they really “consistently argued” this?

This is what Shadow Home Secretary Andy Burnham said about the bill in November. He gushingly gave Labour’s full support.

We support the Government in their attempt to update the law in this important and sensitive area. We share the Government’s goal of creating a world-class framework…

From what the Home Secretary has said today, it is clear to me that she and the Government have listened carefully to the concerns that were expressed about the draft Bill that was presented in the last Parliament. She has brought forward much stronger safeguards, particularly in the crucial area of judicial authorisation. It would help the future conduct of this important public debate if the House sent out the unified message today that this is neither a snooper’s charter, nor a plan for mass surveillance…

In conclusion, the issues the proposed legislation seeks to tackle go way beyond party politics. Any Government will face a difficult task in balancing the security of the nation with the privacy and liberties of individual citizens… Having listened carefully to what the Home Secretary has said today, I believe that she has responded to legitimate concerns and broadly got that difficult balance right.”

So Labour hasn’t “consistently argued” that the bill was only justified if accompanied by other amendments. They previously gave it their full, unequivocal support.

Days later, of course, Burnham flip-flopped and decided he didn’t support the government after all. As if he would ever be “consistent” about anything.

Return of the Andy Burnham Flip Flop

Guido was wrong to worry that the demise of Andy Burnham’s leadership bid would mean an end to our stories about his textbook u-turns. Fear not.

This is what Andy had to say about Theresa May’s Investigatory Powers Bill just last week:

“We support the Government in their attempt to update the law in this important and sensitive area. We share the Government’s goal of creating a world-class framework… neither a snooper’s charter, nor a plan for mass surveillance… In conclusion, the issues the proposed legislation seeks to tackle go way beyond party politics. Any Government will face a difficult task in balancing the security of the nation with the privacy and liberties of individual citizens. As someone who was in the Home Office on 7/7, I know that that challenge has got harder in recent years. We will examine carefully the detail of the draft Bill and seek to improve the safeguards to build trust. Having listened carefully to what the Home Secretary has said today, I believe that she has responded to legitimate concerns and broadly got that difficult balance right.”

Fast forward five days, and it turns out Burnham has decided he doesn’t support the government after all:

“I have now had the opportunity to study your proposals in detail and have taken advice from the Shadow Justice Secretary. This has given rise to concerns that the safeguards you are proposing are not as strong as it appeared when they were presented to the Commons… On closer inspection of the wording of the Bill, it would seem that it does not deliver the strong safeguard that you appeared to be accepting…”

If Burnham hadn’t read the Bill last week, why did he say May had “broadly got that difficult balance right”? Does he still think it is “neither a snooper’s charter, nor a plan for mass surveillance”? Still, even a stopped clock…

Burnham Blew £338,000 on Failed Leadership Bid

Andy Burnham wasted a total of £338,163 on his doomed bid for the Labour leadership, a Guido investigation can reveal. Our analysis of the final declared leadership donations shows Corbyn raked in almost £370,000 from private donors, the public, trade unions and terror supporters. This includes a £50,000 interest free loan from Unite which the union kindly wrote off in September. If Jez can’t even pay off his own debts…

Burnham and Cooper both blew over £330,000 each, while Liz Kendall received just over £160,000. The losing candidates wasted the best part of a million quid on their failed leadership bids…

Burnham Serenades Labour Fangirls

Andy Burnham seemed to be enjoying himself last night when he graced conference goers with an impromptu rendition of The Beatles’ ‘I Saw Her Standing There’.

The song opens with the lines:

Well, she was just 17
You know what I mean
And the way she looked was way beyond compare
So how could I dance with another
When I saw her standing there

Is Burnham making a play for the Millifandom crowd?

Andy Burnham Repent JC Is Coming

First question to Andy Burnham following a leadership campaign speech at a church in Sheffield:

‘Andy, I like what you’ve been saying. But do you realise you’ve been speaking for twenty minutes under a sign which says: “Repent: JC Is Coming”‘

Eddie Izzard Curses Another Campaign

Eddie Izzard Edit

Labour’s favourite transvestite Eddie Izzard has continued his run of cursing campaigns with star-crossed endorsement. Having already doomed the campaigns to:

  • join the euro
  • elect Ken Livingstone
  • Gordon Brown
  • vote Yes side in the AV referedum
  • elect Ed Miliband

… Who was Eddie backing for Labour leader?

A curse worthy of Jonah himself. The lipstick kiss of death…

Burnham Team Responds

This was genuinely tweeted from Andy Burnham’s official campaign account as the result was announced:

… And swiftly deleted…

Burnham Mocks Corbyn

Here is what Andy Burnham really thinks about Jeremy Corbyn:

“Privately, it’s a disaster for the Labour Party. Privately. I mean, publicly, he is a nice man, he’s a nice individual. He believes in the things he campaigns on, so he’s not a fraud in any way.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Burnham ‘Just Checking Out’ Westminster Bubble

There was Guido making his way through the heart of the Westminster bubble last night, when who did he happen to stumble across? Only man of t’people Andy Burnham, posing for photos outside the Westminster Arms, the definitive core of the SW1 bubble.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Cooper’s Cross-Party Migrant Message to MPs: “Take a Selfie”

Yvette Cooper has responded to Andy Burnham weaponising the refugee crisis by writing to every single MP, telling them the situation “transcends party politics and the Labour Party leadership election”. See what she did there…

Yvette’s bold cross-party pitch?

“We are writing to you now to encourage you to… Take a selfie with a #refugeeswelcome banner and put it on Twitter and Facebook, encouraging others to do the same.”

Such leadership.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Burnham Weaponises Refugee Crisis

Andy Burnham just couldn’t resist using the refugee crisis to get one over on Yvette Cooper this morning. Asked about Cooper’s call for the country to take more refugees, Burnham somewhat tastelessly boasted: “I called the day before for Britain to take our fair share”.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Anti-UKIP Burnham v Patriotic ‘Purple’ Andy

Internationalist lefty Andy Burnham has UKIP in his sights this morning, vowing to “fight nationalism wherever I find it“:

“Across Europe, we have seen the rise of nationalist parties… And established parties have begun to follow suit. Here in this country, the governing party spent an election playing to English nationalism… As Labour leader, I will fight nationalism – an ugly brand of politics that seeks to divide people one from another – wherever I find it.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Burnham: Corbyn Making Excuses For Putin

Jeremy “Can I finish?” Corbyn’s famous temper frayed at this afternoon’s Channel 4 hustings when Andy Burnham accused him of “making excuses for Putin“:

“No I’m not Andy that is ridiculous, that is ridiculous. Andy, Andy, that is ridiculous.”

Burnham has previously threatened to quit Corbyn’s Shadow Cabinet if he pushes ahead with his policy on leaving Nato. […] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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