As if there weren’t enough excitement in Westminster, Gina Miller has introduced the new crew of her HMS True and Fair to a room of 60-ish staff and supporters — two orders of magnitude more than her launch less than a year ago. She will take heart from this. If this continues, she will indeed get the five to seven MPs she expects at the next election, and will hold the balance of power in a hung Parliament. Guido wouldn’t want to offend a power-brokering king-maker so herewith a digest of her launch speech giving “voice to people who scream at their TVs.”

We will clean up politics because governments can’t be trusted — they are focused on winning. The complacent and complicit Conservative Party is a cult with no interest in the country. We need a reset, a complete re-think and get candidates who aren’t interested in their career and not weighed down by ego. We will make it against the law for politicians to say things that aren’t true. People are not stupid. We have serious decisions to make. Where are the checks and balances? The NHS is setting up war rooms. It is a stain on us all. It bloodstains us. We must stop playing political games and give consultants money and bring in foreigners to take care of us. Home heating is a human right. Closing tax loopholes will raise £32bn. We reject unicorn thinking and will make this country true and fair again.

In the spirit of constructive advice — to reduce the size of a majority in the next election’s “landslide” you probably wouldn’t want to be standing against Conservatives. And to avoid internal division don’t call your party two names: the True faction will be tearing chunks out of your Fair faction as soon as the election is called.

Perhaps it will never actually matter. And their screaming at the TV will never stop.