MP’s Fart Causes Kenyan Assembly Suspension

A Kenyan Regional Assembly today enjoyed a short-lived row about air pollution – not one sparked by Extinction Rebellion protests – but by one MP’s fart that was so bad it caused the Speaker to temporarily suspend the sitting. In Westminster it’s usually Bercow creating the stink…

One representative interrupted the proceedings to say “Honourable Speaker, one of us has polluted the air and I know who it is“, however the member accused replied “I am not the one. I cannot do such a thing in front of my colleagues”. The Speaker then suspended the sitting because “We cannot continue sitting in an environment that smells bad“. At least this time we can say for sure Richard Burgon wasn’t responsible…

Chris Williamson Speaks in Carpark Alongside Notorious Tony Greenstein

Yesterday, Guido reported on the farce of Chris Williamson’s Brighton event being cancelled three times by venue hosts once they learnt of his vile brand of politics. Eventually however, Williamson’s loony followers did find a venue to hear him speak… A car park. 

Guido’s co-conspirators who went along found that it wasn’t just Williamson speaking in Regency Square, he also shared a platform with the notorious Tony Greenstein, someone Guido readers will remember for being expelled from Labour after using the term “Zio“, ranting about “Zionist scum” and saying “Gay Zionists make me want to puke“.

If Labour were hoping Williamson would use his period in the wilderness to change his ways, they’ve got a long wait yet…

Courts Abolish Hackney Council’s Propaganda Rag

The Commissars of the Socialist People’s Republic of Hackney are distraught at the news that the Court of Appeal has upheld the High Court’s ruling that they must cease the publication of their fortnightly propaganda outlet, Hackney Today. The so-called ‘freesheet’ is actually published and delivered at a cost of over £500,000 a year to the taxpayer…

Hackney Mayor Philip Glanville is not happy with the decision, he’s put out an angry statement defending the council’s decision to take the case all the way to the Court of Appeal – once again at the expense of the taxpayer. Glanville claims it’s actually good value for the taxpayer because it saves “tens of thousands” on having to publish statutory notices in real newspapers. Was his local MP doing the maths?

At least now the advertising revenue will be going to help to support the local press, rather than being blown on what is essentially just a vehicle for the local council to pump out press releases to the public – without any of the scrutiny that comes with actually having to deal with the press. Judging from the not exactly unhappy reaction from the two genuine local newspapers, this is unlikely to be a bad thing for local democracy…

Corbyn’s Begging Letter to Sedwill

Jeremy Corbyn’s increasingly hapless attempts to be the Leader of the Opposition – not helped by John McDonnell’s freestyling all week – have culminated in him sending another letter to Mark Sedwill, this time begging him to intervene to stop a No Deal Brexit. With friends like these…

Corbyn is trying to get Sedwill to declare that Boris leaving the EU without a deal if a general election had been triggered would be a policy decision and therefore in violation of civil service ‘purdah’ rules during an election. Corbyn’s issue is that the policy decision was already made when he and a majority of Labour MPs voted to trigger Article 50 back in 2017. Corbyn can huff and puff all he likes but leaving deal or no deal when the (extended) Article 50 period comes to an end is the legal default. Boris seeking an extension during an election period would arguably be a bigger purdah issue…

Yesterday’s YouGov poll found that more than twice as many people thought Boris would make the best PM than Corbyn, with the Tories maintaining a 9-point lead over Labour overall. Corbyn had his chance to try to trigger an early general election by tabling a vote of no confidence on the final Thursday before recess, instead he decided to give an underwhelming stump speech in Parliament Square to a few dozen hardcore protesters. Too little, too late, Jeremy…

Boris Unveils New Immigration Policy on Facebook Live

In another sign of the changing times, Boris has become the first Prime Minister to announce a new policy to the nation from his desk via Facebook Live. Scheduled to hit commuters on the way home and in time for the evening news. Boris is introducing an immigration rule-change to make the UK “even more welcoming” to scientists from around the world. Global Brexit starting to take shape under someone who actually believes in it…

UPDATE: Note the bus in the background. Cue conspiracy theories…

UPDATE II: We’ve now learned the details: Boris wants boffins to be able to avail themselves of a new fast-track visa to come to the UK as easily as possible. Boris’s policy is “to ensure the UK is the most attractive country to live in and develop new ideas”, he is set to discuss a range options with leading institutions and universities including:

  • Abolishing the cap on numbers under the Tier 1 Exceptional Talent Visas
  • Expanding the pool of UK research institutes and universities able to endorse candidates
  • Creating criteria that confer automatic endorsement, subject to immigration checks
  • Ensuring dependents have full access to the labour market
  • Removing the need to hold an offer of employment before arriving
  • Accelerated path to settlement

The plan is to launch the new visa later this year…

Chief Whip’s Catty Twitter ‘Hack’

New chief whip Mark Spencer has had a remarkably smooth start to one of the toughest jobs in Westminster, unfortunately for him that came to an abrupt end today with this rather unorthodox tweet. The word ‘Lynton’ appears conspicuously in the first line, followed by the intriguing “please don’t j@judge was @ John…” His one defence is that it’s International Cat Day…

Spencer now claims that he’s been hacked, Guido reckons it looks more like a predictive text-fuelled pocket-tweet. At least he wasn’t the only senior politician having technical trouble today…

“Climate Crisis” Populism Versus Data: Food Production

In the 1960s, when the world’s population had just crossed 3 billion people, there was a common belief across the experts in the academic and scientific communities that we were approaching “peak humanity”. That this was largest number of people the planet could support, based on the amount of food the planet could produce. Policymakers feared global famine, mass starvation and a collapse in the social order.

Thanks to the Green Revolution that was spurred in part by Norman Borlaug’s work to develop heartier and higher-yielding strains of staple crops like wheat, food production doubled without significantly expanding land use. With the global population now some 7 billion we are told by experts in the academic and scientific communities that this we are facing a “climate crisis”. Policymakers fear climate induced global famine, mass starvation and a collapse in the social order.

If this is true wouldn’t world food prices being a leading indicator? Food costs would be rising as environmental constraints reduced supply and population growth increased demand.

So it is incredible that within a generation food costs have dropped so dramatically in India and China, countries that at one time were frequently on the brink of famine. Environmentalists who campaign against agri-tech advances have argued for population reduction rather than increased food production. Fortunately policy-makers have taken the humane option and have better fed bigger populations as a result. Could it be that the same green ideologues who were wrong in the past could be wrong again about humanity’s ingenuity when it comes to their fears about an unproven “climate crisis”? Green populism plays on irrational fears that have little scientific basis. Humanity is far from becoming extinct…

Chris Williamson’s Brighton Event Cancelled a Third Time

Chris Williamson is getting a taste of the hard-left’s own medicine after finding himself repeatedly ‘No Platformed’ – his talk scheduled for tonight in Brighton has now been cancelled by a third separate venue. Turns out even leftie Brighton doesn’t want to hear Williamson’s bile…

Following the cancellation of his event by both the Brighthelm Centre and Holiday Inn, Williamsonistas developed a cunning plan to ensure the event went ahead this evening – keeping the venue secret. In an Eventbrite update this morning, attendees were told:

To prevent the sort of vile abuse that staff at the previous venues suffered, we will email you – and all registrants – precise details of the city-centre venue (five minutes from The Clock Tower) an hour or so before Chris is due to start speaking.

Devastatingly for Williamson’s band of diehard devotees, the secret venue booked – the Quaker Meetinghouse – realised the identity of the person they were to host and also cancelled half an hour ago:

Brighton taking more decisive action on chronic anti-Semitism than the Labour Party…

Mayite Think Tank’s Startling Statist U-Turn

While Theresa May’s gloom-ridden premiership may have come to an end last month, the statist ideas that lost her the 2017 General Election are still permeating around the corridors of Whitehall. Today the Mayite think tank Onward published a report on social attitudes in Britain, which concluded that Boris must “move on from freedom“. Because May’s unprovoked attack on the ‘Libertarian right’ ended so well…

The new report – entitled ‘The Politics of Belonging’ – found a number of worrying results; when it asked leading questions it got results suggesting 26% of young people believe democracy is a bad way to run the country (compared to just 3% of over-75s) and an alarming 36% of young people comfortable with a military dictatorship. Onward Director and former May adviser Will Tanner used the push-polling to call on Boris to abandon “individualism, a small state and lower taxes” to ensure a general election victory. Last time a Tory PM followed that advice they ended up squandering a 20% lead in the polls, Tanner himself didn’t bother to stick around to clear up the mess…

It’s a remarkable change in Onward’s outlook, only five months ago the think tank published another high-profile report that found that every generation in fact favours right-wing economics. They even published a “Ten-Point Plan to rejuvenate the centre-right” which included keeping taxes low, balancing the public finances and defending freedom of expression – the polar opposite of abandoning freedom which they seem so keen on today. U-turn if you want to, Onward is for turning…

‘National Unity’ Prime Minister: Runners and Riders

It’s definitely August in Westminster now and the commentariat appear to have settled on wild speculation about who will be the ‘caretaker’ Prime Minister as their activity of choice for this year’s silly season. Guido runs the rule over the many hopefuls to see who’s got what it takes to step in and rescue the country from the terrible fate of implementing the referendum result. Truly spoiled for choice:

  • Yvette Cooper – Already had a trial run thanks to hijacking the order paper with Hilary Benn. Well qualified to lead after coming third in her own party’s leadership race.
  • Hilary Benn – Could form a glorious triumvirate with Cooper and Oliver Letwin, would he be willing to share? Would be worth it just to see the look on Corbyn’s face.
  • Heidi Allen – Exemplary track record at keeping a group of 11 MPs happy and harmonious. Keeping 320 MPs united will be a doddle.
  • Jeremy Corbyn – Probably has the best chance of getting a Government of National Unity formed. Only problem is that it would be united against him.
  • Jo Swinson – Leads 2% of MPs in Parliament. Can’t argue with a mandate like that.
  • Chuka Umunna – Only a matter of time before he tries to take over his new party. Might as well skip the hassle and go straight to the top job.
  • Caroline Lucas – The “obvious choice” according to a fellow Green Party member. Sadly not according to anyone else.
  • Sarah Wollaston – Already been touted during one of the more hilarious coup attempts of the May era. Will plotting mastermind Nick Boles consult her in advance this time?
  • Ken Clarke – Failed to win his party leadership on three separate occasions. Can Comrade Corbyn help a former Tory Chancellor belatedly realise his lifelong ambition now?
  • Dominic Grieve – Plucky underdog hoping to come out victorious in the Battle of the Doms. A tsunami of adulation from adoring Remainers would no doubt carry him straight into No 10 if he succeeds.
  • Rory Stewart – Somewhere, somehow, Rory is still walking on. A few more selfie videos and he could end up walking all the way into Downing Street.
  • Phillip Lee – The country is desperately crying out for a hero. Who better to turn to than Great British Hero Dr Phillip Lee MP?

Spoiler alert. It’s not happening…

Former Tory MP and Thatcher SpAd Running for Brexit Party

The Brexit Party have now unveiled 150 parliamentary candidates in quick succession as they aim to get fully election-ready in case of a potential snap election. As well as star comedian and singer Dominic Frisby and a pro-Brexit Marxist to take on Jeremy Corbyn, Guido has spied another interesting candidate among the new cohort. A former Tory MP and special adviser to Margaret Thatcher…

Chris Butler started his political career as an adviser to Thatcher in No 10 in 1980 before becoming a SpAd for the Welsh Office. He then stood in the previous occurrence of a Brecon and Radnor(shire) by-election in 1985, although the Liberals won it then as well. The Brexiteer went on to serve as the MP for Warrington South in 1987 before losing by 191 votes to Labour 5 years later. If Butler were elected, he would beat the record for parliamentary comeback interval after 27 years away from the Commons…

Leanne’s Wild Stab in the Dark

Guido is struggling to work out what the former leader of Plaid Cymru is trying to say here. Does she think women should always carry a knife? Is she saying women carrying a knife is justified? Does she always carry a knife herself? She’s now clarified, sort of:


Either way, not the sharpest knife in the draw…

Guardian Lost £7 Million Last Year

The Guardian has published their accounts and reported on them in the paper as well. The report’s headline claims they broke even. If you read the actual accounts you will discover they did not.

The bottom line says they lost £16,600,000 after exceptionals, before exceptionals they lost a mere £7.4 million, just under £1,000 an hour, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. The billion pound Guardian endowment made £42.9 million profit on “investments held at fair value”. Add the investment income from the endowment’s shareholdings to the losses and abracadabra the Guardian breaks even.

Claiming the Guardian broke even last year is “fake news”. The fact is GMG plc holding company made an overall profit thanks to investment income entirely unrelated to the company that produces the newspaper. Before you go, Guardian Media Group’s chief executive, David Pemsel has a small favour to ask, can you contribute to his total pay package of £706,000 a year?

McDonnell: I’ll Send Corbyn to Tell Queen “We’re Taking Over”

John McDonnell has continued his showstopping run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with yet another outburst, this time saying that he’ll send Corbyn to Buckingham Palace to tell the Queen “we’re taking over” if Boris loses a confidence vote. While some of the responses decrying it as a full-on coup may be a little over the top, given McDonnell’s willingness to invent retrospective laws to imprison his political opponents it’s not an entirely innocent threat either. Once a revolutionary Marxist, always a revolutionary Marxist…

McDonnell’s key problem is that he does not yet have the ability to change the laws, he and Corbyn are very much limited by both the Fixed Term Parliament Act, and the fact that there is not a majority of MPs in Parliament who would be willing to support him as Prime Minister, even temporarily. The Lib Dems again ruled out propping him up yesterday, and there are plenty in his own party who privately do not want to see him in No 10. How long their principled opposition would last when they got a sniff of power might be another matter…

Conversely, McDonnell’s refusal to back any caretaker Prime Minister who isn’t Corbyn makes the arithmetic impossible for any of the other hopelessly optimistic contenders, from Hilary Benn to Heidi Allen. A week into August and it’s looking like delusional Remainer fantasising about who could lead a ‘Government of National Unity’ is going to be the theme of this year’s silly season…

Government’s Plastic Bag Spin Rubbished by Fact Checkers

A surprisingly non-woke fact check from the Channel 4 fact checkers has found that the Government’s claim that plastic bag sales have fallen 90% since they introduced the 5p bag charge is, in fact, rubbish. There was one glaring omission from the figures – they don’t include ‘bags for life’…

Most supermarkets have simply replaced ‘single-use’ plastic bags with so-called ‘bags for life’, forcing long-suffering shoppers trying to buy just a few items to either perform a juggling act trying to get their meal deals back to the office or take a full-size thicker plastic ‘bag for life’ instead that is only a quarter full. Many refuse to provide figures of ‘bag for life’ sales to avoid negative publicity but for the three that did, sales were down less than 2% on the previous year. Almost one billion bags for life were sold in just one year in 2017/2018, the average household uses 44 a year…

As the fact checkers point out, bags for life are much thicker and made of higher-grade plastic, using far more plastic than the old ‘single-use’ bags – which many consumers happily used multiple times anyway. Iceland’s managing director last year admitted that they were now using more plastic overall since switching to bags for life. The fact checkers conclude:

“There is no evidence of a dramatic decrease in the sale of bags for life. And the limited evidence available suggests the introduction of bags for life might have actually increased the overall amount of plastic being used.”

Yet another example of poorly conceived woke policy-making that ends up achieving exactly the opposite effect

McDonnell: We’ll Invent Law to Put Tories in Prison

Today’s spectacular Labour second independence referendum row sparked by John McDonnell has overshadowed a far more sinister policy proposal put forward by the Shadow Chancellor last night in conversation with Iain Dale. His desire to imprison his political opponents.

Corbyn’s notoriously aggressive deputy was challenged about past footage of him calling Tories “social criminals” who should be tried in court, initially shrugging it off and saying “I was angry. It was after the first round of benefit cuts”. When Dale pressed him and asked what law Tories would be tried under, McDonnell repliedI might want to invent it”. Marxists always turn to Stalinism eventually…

Pro-Brexit Anti-War Marxist Running in Islington North

Voters in Islington North are pretty used to being able to vote for a Marxist, anti-war, pro-Palestine, pro-Brexit left winger to be their MP. The surprise this time is that now they’ve got two to choose from…

The Brexit Party’s newly announced candidate, James Heartfield, is a former member of the Revolutionary Communist Party who abandoned Jeremy Corbyn because of his “prevarication” over Brexit, having only voted for Labour in 2017 because their manifesto promised to honour the result of the referendum. Corbyn may not be too scared of the Brexit Party with his 33,000 majority, but many of his fellow Labour MPs definitely are…

The Lexiteer has previously called Corbyn a “great MP” but it’s not just a one-way-street, the two Marxists have met a number of times and the Labour leader has even attended Heartfield’s book launches. Hopefully they’re more wholesome than Corbyn’s own forays into writing…

Ian Murray Calls on McDonnell to Apologise

Scottish Labour MP Ian Murray has launched another broadside against Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell, saying he’s got a “lot of explaining to do” over his IndyRef2 comments last night and calling on him to apologise to Scottish Labour leader Richard Leonard. This one is not going to go away, Labour still have yet to clarify what their official party policy now is…

Scottish Labour Go to War With McDonnell Over IndyRef2

The Labour Party has descended into fresh turmoil after John McDonnell’s highly contentious comments last night saying that Labour “would not block” IndyRef2. Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP naturally jumped all over it and are now gleefully trying to widen the rift between Scottish and UK Labour.

Unsurprisingly Scottish Labour themselves have erupted at the news which threatens to rip out their electoral base yet further. To be fair, they could have seen it coming given Corbyn himself said he was “absolutely fine” with another go at Scottish independence two years ago…

Scottish Labour Leader Richard Leonard held what will have been a fairly robust meeting with the Shadow Chancellor this morning, issuing a statement:

I made clear to him that a second independence referendum is unwanted by the people of Scotland and it is unnecessary… The 2014 referendum was a once in a generation vote.

Scottish MPs and MSPs have since piled in. Ian Murray MP led a blistering attack on McDonnell, saying:

“These are utterly irresponsible comments from John McDonnell that betray our party’s values… McDonnell has even bought into the nationalist narrative that Westminster is an ‘English Parliament’, in an insult to the hard work carried out by Scottish MPs from every party.

We were promised by the SNP that the 2014 referendum was once-in-a-generation, and we have a duty to hold the Nationalists to their promise by firmly opposing a divisive second independence referendum.

But one of the architects of the Corbyn project that is destroying the Labour Party now appears willing to destroy our United Kingdom with thoughtless rants at the Festival”.

Murray retweeted fellow MP Stella Creasy who blasted:

Shadow Scotland Minister Paul Sweeney MP has also been on the attack, while Labour’s Scottish Parliamentary candidates have put out a joint statement. Never underestimate Labour’s ability to turn a crisis into a catastrophe…

UPDATE: Rather than apologising for undermining Labour policy, McDonnell has doubled down, saying the approval of a second Scottish independence referendum is also Jeremy Corbyn’s view. It’s clear Scottish Labour are not going to let this argument die down.

UPDATE 2: Labour’s MSPs have released a joint statement condemning McDonnell’s IndyRef2 u-turn:

The SPLP support the stance taken by Richard Leonard as our Leader and back the policy position that he outlined. We deplore any attempts to undermine the official policy position of the Scottish Labour Party and we express serious concerns about an apparent change in Labour’s position on a matter of vital importance to the future of Scotland and of the Scottish Labour Party itself.

Scottish party policy is very clear – that is opposition to a second independence referendum. There is therefore an urgent need for the UK Party leadership to engage constructively with the Scottish Party leadership on the issue of the party’s stance on the future of Scotland.

We are clear Labour’s position on Scotland’s future is a decision for Scottish Labour, which the UK Party must accept. We expect all Scottish Labour MPs and MSPs to vote in accordance with party policy.

The war rages on…

Derby Trainmaker Wins £2.3 Billion Cairo Monorail Contract

Fears over the damaged Whaley Bridge dam this week haven’t left the people of Derbyshire with much to cheer, particularly during unwanted visits from the Labour leader. At least they’ve now got some positive economic news that Derby-based train manufacturer Bombardier have won a £2.34 billion contract to make trains for the Cairo monorail, beating off Pharoah-cious competition from Chinese and Malaysian firms.[…] Read the rest

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Boris responds to Tusk…

“I don’t want a No Deal Brexit but I say to our EU friends if they don’t want No Deal they have got to get rid of the backstop from treaty. If Donald Tusk doesn’t want to go down in history as Mr No Deal Brexit then I hope this point will be borne in mind by him too.”

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