The tin-pot internet police at Ofcom have fined US-based platform 4chan an unbelievable £520,000 (plus daily penalties of around £800) for repeatedly violating the Online Safety Act. They claim the site failed the OSA’s risk assessment duty, its illegal content safety duty, and its children’s safety duties. That’s half-a-million quid, please…
Below is 4chan lawyer Preston Byrne’s response email, which contains a picture of a giant hamster dressed as Godzilla:
Ofcom,
Thanks. As has been explained to your agency, ad nauseam, the United Kingdom lost the American Revolutionary War. We are not in the mood to discuss the matter further, and have not been in the mood for 250 years.
I note for the record that, last time your agency sent my client a censorship fine, we responded with a hamster joke. Since you have now sent my client a giant fine, a fine so large that Mr. Whiskers’ enclosure is not big enough to contain it, we will need to send the fine to Mr. Whiskers’ giant hamster cousin, Nigel J. Whiskerford. Unfortunately, Nigel is out of the country this week, touring in Japan. Here’s a picture of Nigel in Tokyo, dressed up as Godzilla and holding an equally giant peanut.
Isn’t he just the cutest?
My client reserves all rights and waives none. Reserved rights include the right to sue you again and/or to respond to future correspondence with an even larger rodent, such as a marmot.
Or, maybe, you could just stop sending Americans stupid letters and acknowledge the sovereignty of the United States.
Byrne & Storm
Doesn’t look like 4chan is playing ball…
The unemployment rate remained at 5.2% in the three months to January, according to the Office for National Statistics. The highest in five years. Youth unemployment is at a twelve-year high, and pay growth has fallen to 3.8%. This must be that ‘stability’ Reeves keeps boasting about…
West Oxfordshire Conservatives are paying for Facebook ads to campaign against building flats on a car park in Witney. It happens to be a brownfield site…
If you open a dictionary and look for the definition of ‘NIMBY’, you’ll probably find that advert…
Another fail at Guardian towers over an extremely unsavoury article which appeared to justify vandalism on a branch of Gail’s bakery. The paper suggested opening a Gail’s near a Palestinian-owned cafe was provocative and said the Israeli-founded chain’s expansion was “aggressive”…
A spokesperson for the Israeli Embassy said the article was “an astonishing exercise in bigotry disguised as moral commentary.” Inevitably a correction has been issued and reads:
“This article was amended on 17 March 2026. A reference to the arrival of Gail’s feeling like “an act of heavy-handed high-street aggression” has been repositioned to clarify it meant to refer to the described fears about the chain’s impact on small traders. Also, a comment contrasting activism that is capable of influencing global events with “small acts of petty symbolism”, which was not intended to minimise local vandalism but rather to suggest its misdirected futility, has been removed to avoid misunderstanding.”
Sure it meant that. Sure it did…
The question, repeated three or four times, was: “Did you speak to Mandelson before you appointed him?” This has purchase as the PM told the House that Mandelson lied to him, and that’s why he was appointed, against the odds.
The Prime Minister’s answers to Kemi’s question, three-times-asked were: “I’ve apologised, why don’t you? You wanted to rush into war with Iran and then you didn’t. You don’t deserve to be prime minister and you never will be. You have no judgment. Your justice secretary said Muslims weren’t welcome in this country. And what about Tommy Robinson! Weak, weak, weak! She doesn’t do the work. Poison and division!” And then, to widespread laughter including from behind: “My principles have been unwavering!”
Scammers are targeting the X accounts of hacks and politicians across SW1. Nadhim Zahawi is the latest victim…
Esther Webber’s account was also compromised this morning. The messages are always the same, and it’s been going on for several weeks. Sometimes the account holder wrestles back control, sometimes they don’t…
Kemi Badenoch at the 1922-ConHome bash last night:
“I did praise [Burnham] for his stamina, it was amazing. All I had to do was sit back and lie there. I didn’t have to do anything at all…”
