New Labour, New Ferrets

So Gordon is a psycho- delusional control- freak according to Charles Clarke in the Telegraph today. Yesterday he claimed that Gordon was “absolutely stupid”. Another fatty, Frank Dobson, is throwing his weight around on behalf of Gordon, saying Blair has to “go before Christmas”.

Harriet Harman, a Brownite, wants everyone to “shut-up” – so Gordon is going on Andrew Marr on Sunday. Will Marr go for it or will it be a poodle job?

The Tipping Point

When Blairite lickspittles like Sion Simon and Chris Bryant with an eye on their future careers shift their allegiances to Brown the trouble is serious. But this is not the tipping point, something is missing. Brown is silent, no cabinet minister has resigned, Blair is looking into the abyss but he has not reached the tipping point.

Guido has been studying the betting markets, looking at the next Chancellor bet, the joint favourites are Ed Balls and Alastair Darling. John Reid’s price looks too long, if he stands against Brown and loses marginally he will have a strong claim to the job. The Alan Johnson price also looks to long for both Chancellor and PM. Alan Johnson seems just more human and normal than the others.

The Blair Legacy Tour

In the Downing Street bunker a coterie of Blair aides, including party guru Philip Gould and chief of staff Jonathan Powell, have drawn up a memo that suggests that, amid a whirlwind of television and radio appearances, the prime minister should visit the most striking buildings of his 10-year rule. Picture credit – follow the link to see their other suggested building photo-ops.

Levy is in London

A Guido co-conspirator emails to tell that on Wednesday he passed Lord Levy in London near King’s Cross on his way to his fire damaged Marylebone Street office saying into his mobile “I know! When I saw it, I said ‘What the fuck is that?'”

Get Your Sleazy Sweepstake Gamecards Ready

Guido hears that “friends” of Ruth Turner are claiming “it wasn’t me guv”. Wouldn’t it be fun if the PM has to do the perp walk. Downing Street is determined that the police should just drop by for a cup of tea and biscuit accompanied by the full Blair charm. The police think a statement under caution more appropiate in the circumstances. Don’t forget who did the negotiating directly with Lord Drayson…
If you have not already got one, email Guido for a PDF file to print out, then cut out and play Sleazy Sweepstakes in your office (Peerages not included.)

Unions Launder Support Via Unity Trust BankBut Isn’t Labour a Bad Credit Risk?

Labour is in dire financial trouble, if it were a business the lawyers would be warning the directors that they were in danger of trading whilst insolvent. In that situation directors become personally liable for a company’s debts, risking the confiscation of director’s assets and criminal prosecution for failing to observe a director’s fiduciary duty. In this time of desperate need they have sought bank financing, primarily from the Cooperative Bank and Unity Trust Bank. The financially strong Co-Op has of course a long history of supporting the Labour party and also owns 26.66% of the small Unity Trust Bank. The remaining 73.23% of the total equity capital of Unity Trust Bank plc is owned by the trade unions and they control the bank’s board*. Total equity capital at 31 December 2005 was £16,429,301.

A £4 million pound loan is therefore quite a large risk for a small operation like Unity to make to a near insolvent organisation like Labour. It represents nearly a quarter of shareholders funds in the event of a default. That is not sound business practise. Guido has a few questions for Ian Morrison, Director of Credit Risk & Compliance at Unity:

  • What security has he obtained for the trade union members and charities who have their funds at risk?
  • Has a third-party guaranteed the loan? If so, who?
  • Are they comfortably within the guidelines for capital adequacy? If so, by what margin?
  • How does he evaluate the enterprise risk of such a relatively large** and risky loan?

Guido is having some difficulty getting a response from Unity.

How the workers pay for Cherie’s haircuts:*Important in this context that we recall how the government gave the unions a new back door subsidy of £11 million.
**£4 million is more than UTB’s total after tax profits for 2005.

Only the Best Wine is Good Enough for the Trough

As Guido is reduced to knocking back the cheap €2 rosé instead of the Margaux this summer he is heartened to know that official figures show the government stockpile of booze is worth £647,000. The ‘Hospitality Wine Cellar’ holds some 35,000 bottles.

The average bottle in the cellar costs more than £18, nearly four times the price of the average taxpayer’s tipple. Us alcoholics pay £7.7 billion a year in booze tax, whilst politicians drink the best vintages at our expense. Snouts in the trough slurping up the wine…

Snouts in the Trough : Peter Hain Again

Guido does not begrudge Peter Hain his boy-racer passion for fast cars. In his own younger days Guido was known to race about in a Lotus Elise and do the odd handbrake turn in a rally car. As these pictures show Hain enjoyed himself immensely dressing up and racing cars at a Rally Ireland event in Sligo.

Unlike Peter Hain, Guido paid for his boy-racer jollies out of his own pocket rather than charge it to the taxpayer. Guido’s flights and helicopters were at his own expense. Peter Hain charged to the taxpayer the £10,754 costs of his flights and expenses. There is no political justification for this, he is just enjoying himself at the taxpayers expense. No doubt he will claim some bogus “security” justification. Look at his smile in these pictures, he is laughing at you the taxpayer.

Since when has a playboy lifestyle been the chargeable expense of a minister of the crown? He should get his turbocharged snout out of the trough and pay back every penny.

See also Snouts in the Trough : Peter Hain

How to Send Kosher Pizzas to the Israeli Defence Forces

From the one-sided BBC reporting you would never realise that Hamas is launching sustained rocket blitzes day after day on Israeli towns.

Whereas once Britain’s grannies knitted woolie hats and gloves for our boys in the trenches, nowadays modern technology means that you can give your support online to those fighting against Hezbollah’s Islamo-fascism just by clicking on a link. Guido has independently verified this and it is a genuine way to show support for Israel’s frontline troops. organise the delivery of pizzas and Pepsi to troops risking their lives searching for rocket firing terrorists.

Balls Goes Ballistic

A co-conspirator emails about a recent lunch organised by sleazy lobbyists LLM. Ed Balls spoke and went completely mad about criticism of the spending review. He ended up shouting that if the CBI and the TUC didn’t like what he was doing they should get on and do their own. Is the heat getting to him?

Snouts in the Trough : Peter Hain

The Belfast Telegraph’s David Gordon has highlighted Peter Hain’s penchant for expensive taxpayer-funded flights to sporting events in Ireland.

Hain flew in specially chartered planes to a Dublin rugby international and two Sligo motor racing events within the past year. The bill for Hain’s costly jollies comes to £10,754. Hain, a keen motorsports fan, flew with one official last October to Sligo to attend a motorsports event. The cost of this one-day trip was £2,491. In February he flew to Dublin to attend an Ireland versus Wales rugby match. Three officials went with him and the bill for the one-day trip came to £5,002. In March, he was back in Sligo again to attend another Rally Ireland event. Two officials flew with him on a charter plane for a two-day stay which cost £3,271.

The use of taxpayer-funded charter flights to attend jollies has even provoked the Conservative Party’s Northern Ireland spokesman, David Lidington: “Everyone accepts the need for Ministers to travel, sometimes at short notice, but these three trips sound like costly jollies at taxpayers’ expense.” Guido thinks Hain can get a bloody Ryanair flight to the rugby at his own expense like the rest of us.

Des Smith Hits the Bottle

Des Smith hit the bottle hard last week under the pressure of the police inquiry into the cash for honours scam. He broke down in tears yesterday in court as he was sentenced for drink driving at Redbridge magistrates. The police evidence to the court was that he was three times over the maximum limit. Guido has a lot of empathy for a fellow hard-drinking Catholic. Will the school governors feel the same?
It can hardly be good for school discipline that the kids know the headmaster has been arrested in a corruption investigation and that he now has a criminal record as well. His involvement in fund raising for Sleazy Levy, who has also been arrested and is himself the primary target of the investigation, offers a way out. Clearly the Sleaze Master General is the one the police really want to nail.

Currently Des Smith is in denial and protesting his innocence. Guido’s advice, in the best of Catholic traditions, is that Des should make a full confession to Yates’ Operation Ribble.


Prezza v BloggersMichael White Gives Round One To Prezza on Points

Michael White is scoring the fight this morning-

The war of Prezza’s stetson is not over yet. But the political bloggers have lost the first round.

Prezza’s pugilistic skills may be infamous, but if he won the first round on points, the judges are fixed. Him and his corner have not laid a glove on Guido despite all the bluster. The commentariat really ought to get their line straight, the New Statesman’s Peter Wilby says we are not making the running, White now says we were, and that we lost. Have no fear, Guido is ready to go fifteen rounds with the gloves off.

Remember, round two doesn’t start until the cowboy is running the country. Guido has seen Prezza shadow boxing, and the shadow won.

UPDATE : Boxing must be the theme of the day, this morning the wonks at the Adam Smith Institute say that Guido has John Prescott and “the government reeling on the ropes, if not down on the canvas. He has in effect taken on the role of official opposition, which is fine for the Conservatives because it leaves them free to rebuild their brand and prepare to take over. Political and media figures devour his blog every day, and it’s easy to see why. It’s compulsive reading.”

Dirty Money

Graphic Credit : Beau Bo D’Or
Iain Dale has followed up on Michael Brown, the LibDem’s biggest donor of election campaign funds. Who, Guido believes he is correct in saying, is still in jail on remand. It is possible that LibDem members could be jointly and severally liable to HSBC for the contested money – some thirty quid a head? It makes grim reading…

Is there any wonder why our ever so noisy politicians are silent on their dirty money problems? State funding of parties will be even worse and a reward for their crooked ways. Levy arrested, Michael Brown in jail, if the police nick a Tory we will have a full crooked set.

Will anyone, or any party stand against state funding of these crooks? Or must it be gunpowder?


PMQs Kicks Off

Usual tragic-magic trick of condolences to start.

Home-Pack climb down is the opener. Dave makes a crack about Blair moving home soon.

Dave makes an “answer the question” jibe, saying get used to it, because the way things are going you’ll be soon be answering Scotland Yard’s questions.

Guido cracks open the rosé.

Ming bores on about the Middle East (safely).

Michael Meacher bores on about Middle East. Takes the Hizbollah line, speaker tells him to shut up and sit down. Guido emails Mossad with details of where Meacher lives…

John Maples does a comedy turn on the PM’s holiday, suggests he stays at home and send the DPM to an Italian Palace with his diary secretary.

Back in the Daily Politics studio, Ed Balls seems to be sporting a new, sharper haircut. Have the image consultants who got Gordon to bleach his smile, told Balls to sort his haircut out and wear contact lenses? In his SpAd days Balls was far more dishevelled.

Quote of the Week

“Michael Abraham Levy, I am arresting you under the terms of the Honours (Prevention of Abuses) Act 1925 and the Political Parties, Election and Referendum Act 2000.”

Detective Superintendent Graham McNulty

Putin takes the Michael out of Blair

Yesterday Putin relished taking the mick out of Blair (the mick of course being Lord Michael Levy). Asked what his message would be to Blair in view of implicit criticism by the British ambassador to Moscow of Putin’s governance, the authoritarian Russian leader started sly: “We carefully hear out all our partners,” he said. “We take into consideration their views on such issues but we take our decisions ourselves.” Putin then twisted the knife with a smile. “There are also other questions… Questions, let’s say, about the fight against corruption. We’d be interested in hearing your experience, including how it applies to Lord Levy.”

Psy-Ops in the War on Sleaze

The Scotsman reports that there is panic in Downing Street as Levy puts Blair squarely in the frame. Guido has been merrily emailing the cut out ‘n play Sleazy Sweepstakes gamesheet to SpAds and civil servants in a tactic borrowed from U.S. Army’s Central Command in the run up to the liberation of Iraq.

Psy-Ops units waged online warfare by sending emails and text messages to Iraqi senior officers telling them to surrender in advance of the U.S. Army’s Rolling Thunder operation. The effect of these messages on morale was telling, it showed the Republican guard that the enemy knew them individually, knew where to get them and how. The Republican Guard consequently put up no defence when the U.S. Army arrived. In advance of Yates of the Yard’s detectives’ Operation Ribble, Guido has borrowed some of those psy-ops tactics, after all, as concerned citizens we must each do our little bit in the War on Sleaze.

Email Guido for a gamesheet to print out, then email it onwards as appropriate or just cut out and play Sleazy Sweepstakes in your office. (Peerages not included.)


Guido’s Levy Files

Unlike the Sleaze-Master General, Guido’s files have not gone up in smoke. Here for the assistance of some surprised journalists, is the story so far as told on this blog.


Levy Does the Perp Walk! Guido Does a Jig!

As Guido predicted as long ago as March and pointed to on Saturday, the Sleazemaster General has been arrested.

It is going to get even bigger quicker than you might think.

Levy should have taken Guido’s advice when he had the chance, shouldn’t he?

[…] Read the rest


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