633,793 Page Hits from 476,745 Visitors

Google reports 92,332 absolute unique visitors came here last month. More people visited Guido than any other comparable political website.*

The top ten referrers after Google and Yahoo are:

#1 Iain Dale
#2 ConservativeHome
#3 Spectator / Coffee House blog
#4 PoliticsHome
#5 PoliticalBetting.com
#6 Times Blogs (Red Box and Comment Central)
#7 Boulton & Co.
#8 Dizzy Thinks
#9 Telegraph Blogs
#10 Biased-BBC

Guido would especially like to thank his advertisers this month for their support and contribution to his cellars.

Amazon – Guido’s readers buy hundreds of books every month.
Argos Online – They can deliver barbecues and kiddies pools.
Betfair – Place your bets.
Central Office of Information – It was like a tax rebate.
Children Are Unbeatable Alliance – They are in Guido’s house.
Compass – Discerning advertisers.
Connect Online Backup – Keeps Guido’s data safe.
eBay – For everything.
Friends of Zimbabwe – But not Mugabe.
Help the Aged – Getting heard in Westminster.
Laithwaites – Booze to the door.
Lastminute – Nice viral.
MoneySupermarket.com – Does what it says on the tin.
Leonard Cheshire Disability – Campaigning.
Savanna Cider – African cider.
Standpoint magazine – Definitely.
The Stationery Office – Download legislation.
Total Politics magazine – Welcome.
War on Want – Keeps Guido in Margaux.
WWF – Love those Pandas…

*Fewer people re-loaded PoliticalBetting.com more often.

Another Day, Another Downing Street Rat…

Andrew Porter reports that Martin Sheehan, Gordon’s Head of Strategic Communications, is making the dash for cash to PR firm Portland.

Martin Sheehan says: “The opportunity to join Portland at this stage in the company’s growth is one I couldn’t refuse. Working for two Prime Ministers has been a fantastic experience. After spending eight of the last ten years in Downing Street, it’s time for a new challenge.” Translation: a year of the Prime Mentalist is enough for me…

Gordon Emails Wendi in New York

Guido has got this before it appears in PR Week:

Last week Downing Street functionaries were asked by Gordon to switch off auto-complete on his email software. It turned out that our early morning emailing PM had accidentally emailed Wendi Deng, also known as Mrs Rupert Murdoch.

Easy mistake to make, but Mrs Murdoch doesn’t really have much interest in Scottish politics. No doubt she is a little better informed now…

Pundits Think SNP Could Take Glasgow East

The punditry can get a little carried away, less than a year ago they thought Gordon could walk on water, now they think he is a millstone around Labour’s neck. 65% of the “insider panel” on PoliticsHome reckons the SNP will win Glasgow East. Guido is amazed that they think the SNP can catch up from 43.7% behind. That would be phenomenal…

Guido is sceptical, but Brown is such a Jonah,* you never know…

*Oil is up some $10 since he went to beg the sheiks to cut their profits. In a result reminiscent of the New Deal for Youth that resulted in higher youth unemployment, the plan to build millions of new homes has resulted in the lowest number of houses being built since World War II. God really hates this accursed one-eyed, son of the manse, Prime Mentalist.

Gordon Droned Mandela Out

The rumour swirling around the hospitality enclosure at the Mandela concert on Friday night was that Brown charmlessly went straight in hard with talk of Zimbabwe and the Africa summit (according to a security source). Mandela turned to his wife and entourage saying he was tired and should leave almost as soon as Brown arrived to sit with him.
As the balcony was well lit for the TV cameras, concert goers could see from the floor that Brown was sat alone well before the end of the gig. Mandela was said to be exhausted, being 90 and having just delivered a speech in front of thousands. So he left Gordon.

Hence the cosy pictures of Mandela with his feet up with Dave, but none such with the Prime Mentalist…

Friday Competition Winners

A record 326 competition entries, if indeed some of them could be dignified with that description. Guido could not make his mind up on a single winner, as usual most entries were crap and obvious. Anyway the three that tickled Guido’s jaded and twisted sense of humour were:

SACKERSON said…

At that point I said, now tell me the truth about you and Carol.

idle said…

Cherie Birkin, QC:

“blahmutterblahmutter COCKTAIL PARTY AT THE INNS OF COURT blahblahmutter PUBLIC-SCHOOL TYPE blahblahblah LOOKED AT ME IN A MOST SUGGESTIVE FASHION muttermutterblah ANYWAY, blahblah I SAW MY CHANCE OF SOCIAL ADVANCEMENT blahmuttermutterblah SO I CRADLED HIS TESTICLES IN MY HAND JUST LIKE THIS mutterblahmuttermutter AND HE EXPLODED LIKE A CHINESE FIREWORK!

I’M AFRAID TO SAY I WAS VERY, VERY DRUNK……”

Oscar said…

Fuck me. It looks like she’s trying to whistle.

Email Guido with your address(es), and a copy of John Laughland’s A History of Political Trials: From Charles I to Saddam Hussein will be sent Royal Mail…

The winners are truly one(s) in a hundred…

Balls Gets Clap

The Thomas Cubitt bar off Eaton Square, Belgravia, is a favourite of hedge fund managers and girls who want to marry them (or failing that, Prince Harry). Guido can particularly recommend the 1988 Chateau Rauzan-Ségla Margaux at £120 a bottle and the 1999 Louis Roederer Cristal at £190 for your mistress.

Exactly the kind of establishment you would expect to find Ed Balls frequenting – after all unlike the rest of us he does not have to worry about higher mortgage payments – we pay his for him. Last week he was in the Cubitt and the hedgies resentfully ignored him encroaching onto their territory. Until it was that it was time for him to leave; when he stood up the room gave him a slow hand-clap. Ed’s blink rate increased as he attempted to make a dignified exit.

He is rumoured to be a possible replacement for Alistair Darling at the Treasury. Clearly not something that will please the City’s moneymen….

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Sunday Sleaze Round-Up

Guido has introduced a simple Pigs in Shit rating system for guidance on the misdemeanors of porcine politicians (guide here). Post links in the comments.

MPs Cashing in on Zimbabwe’s Misery

Totally disingenuous headline in the Indy on Sunday. The Tory MPs own shares in multi-national corporations that do business in Zimbabwe. Which means the majority of the country with a pension plan or a Barclays bank account is guilty on the terms set by the Indy. Nil pigs.

Spelman Faces Fresh RevelationsSky

CPS Study Abrahams ‘Dodgy’ Donations Dossier from PoliceSky

It ain’t over until it is over.

MEPs’ Champagne ‘Study Days’ Cost Taxpayer £200,000 – Sunday Times

Champagne swilling luxury junket taking the piss out of taxpayers as per normal.

How MPs Claim for a Second HomeSunday Telegraph

Simple explanation of the mechanics of the fiddle.

Wintertons to Cost Taxpayers Thousands More on New Flat Mail on Sunday

Continuing tale of the troughing Tory twosome. Why don’t they live in their own now mortgage-free luxury flat? The taxpayer has bought it for them and fitted it out already. They are a troughing disgrace.

Labour Mired in Sleaze Claims as Scots Leader Quits and MPs are Accused of Homes Tax-DodgeMail on Sunday

Scottish Leader and Scottish MP go in disgrace.

‘Over 100 MPs’ in Multi-Million Tax Dodge Over Second HomesMail on Sunday
A specific capital gains dodge used by the likes of James Purnell and many others.

Scots Labour Leader ‘Confident of Being Cleared’ after ResigningMail on Sunday
No chance Wendy.

Marshall in Shock Resignation after Rumours Over ExpensesMail on Sunday
End of the gravy train for one MP.

The Letter That Sealed Wendy’s Fate

click to enlarge
Back in November Guido had the exclusive scoop and was the first to publish this letter,* saying it would mean Wendy Alexander was toast. This personal note to Paul Green (dated October 5) showed that her telling the media that the first time she knew about his personal donation was 1 pm the previous day was simply untrue.

Paul Green also admitted that he gave two personal cheques of £950 which would have put him over the £1000 barrier and shown he was an impermissible offshoredonor.

Guido predicted that “there is no wriggle room. She is on the hook completely”. So it turned out, eventually.


*N.B. Incidentally, Guido was accused by Labour supporters of forging the letter.

Gordon Brown’s Unhappy Anniversary


Via Eyebrow Magazine

Friday Caption Contest

Prize of John Laughland’s A History of Political Trials: From Charles I to Saddam Hussein to the wittiest comment – which is not going to be the most obvious comment.

Downing Street Rat Dashes for Cash

As Guido pointed out yesterday, the captain is taking down the Labour ship with him and as this email from Fiona Gordon (his Downing Street political secretary) shows, the rats are doing the proverbial:

Dear Colleague,

Tomorrow will be my last day as Gordon Brown’s Political Secretary. It has been a privilege to work for Gordon and the wider team here at No 10 and I consider myself very fortunate to have had the opportunity. It has been a fascinating and hectic year.

I have also been lucky to work closely with you, not only in my current post but as the first women PLP Secretary. I will be taking away very many happy memories, particularly of the evening we gathered in the Chamber for the photograph to mark the Centenary of the PLP.

My next venture is to start my own communications business which I am very excited about.

My mobile number will remain the same xxxxxxx, my new email address is xxx@xxx.com Joe Irvin has been appointed to replace me. Joe has for the past year worked as a special adviser to the Prime Minister on trade union, employment and housing issues.

He is a lifelong Labour Party member and previously worked as special adviser to Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott 1996-2001, and was for many years a trade union official. I know you will give him all your support.

With my best wishes
Fiona

She is obviously going to try in cash in over the next year before her contacts become worthless…

Labour Lose Deposit, Lib Dems Make No Progress

The Lib Dem’s once fearsome by-election machine stalled in the face of the blue tide sweeping the South East of England. They will be horrified at their inability to make real progress in this kind of constituency with, objectively, a better campaigner as their candidate. The truth is that the detoxification of Cameron’s “Liberal” Conservatives means that the anti-Brown swing vote is as likely, or even more likely, to go to the Tories than the Lib Dems. That is a terrifying prospect for Lib Dem MPs. The Tory vote went up despite the loss of the charismatic Boris. Currently Tories could pin a blue rosette on a donkey and win.

There are by-election losses and there are by-election losses, Labour coming fifth behind the BNP and Greens made losing their deposit that much worse. Backbench MPs will be studying Charles Clarke’s doomsday list (download here) a little more intensely. They will be looking at the crumbling Gordon and wondering to themselves how the party might fare without the millstone of a voter repelling weirdo up front.

UPDATE : A co-conspirator points out that Chris Rennard’s post match spin is ambiguous:

“We increased our vote…”

  • LibDem Henley vote 2005 General Election – 12,101
  • LibDem Henley vote 2008 By Election – 9,680

An increase of minus 2421 votes!

Spelman “Only Stopped Paying Nanny When Secretary Reported Her”

Michael Crick on Newsnight is going to reveal more details tonight that really will cap it for Spelman – essentially she only stopped fiddling payments to her nanny when her real secretary grassed her. It really does mean the end now. She fiddled and stopped only when she was reported and she lied about the whole thing when exposed. That is not a tenable position.

There is a ridiculous whispering campaign to make this a mother versus misogynists issue. It is actually an anti-corruption issue. The Spelmans are a wealthy couple, they could easily afford a nanny – they chose to fiddle the cost from the taxpayer. Plenty of low income mothers on benefits have gone to jail for fiddling the sums we are talking about here…

UPDATE : Two-thirds of grassroots Conservatives polled by ConservativeHome say Spelman should quit.

Henley News

Was this one of the most unexciting by-elections going?

Guido gave a former senior LibDem apparatchik 9/1 on the LibDems winning. So they are still optimistic…

+ READ MORE +



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team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

The FT’s Wolfgang Munchau on the “fake maths” of economic forecasts:

“The truth is that our ability to forecast the future beyond the current quarter is limited… The curse of our time is fake maths. Think of it as fake news for numerically literate intellectuals: it is the abuse of statistics and economic models to peddle one’s own political prejudice… The fakeness of the maths lies in an exaggerated inference. Economic models have their uses, as do opinion polls. They provide information to policymakers and markets. But nobody can see through the fog of the future.”

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