How to Send Kosher Pizzas to the Israeli Defence Forces

From the one-sided BBC reporting you would never realise that Hamas is launching sustained rocket blitzes day after day on Israeli towns.

Whereas once Britain’s grannies knitted woolie hats and gloves for our boys in the trenches, nowadays modern technology means that you can give your support online to those fighting against Hezbollah’s Islamo-fascism just by clicking on a link. Guido has independently verified this and it is a genuine way to show support for Israel’s frontline troops. PizzaIDF.org organise the delivery of pizzas and Pepsi to troops risking their lives searching for rocket firing terrorists.

Balls Goes Ballistic

A co-conspirator emails about a recent lunch organised by sleazy lobbyists LLM. Ed Balls spoke and went completely mad about criticism of the spending review. He ended up shouting that if the CBI and the TUC didn’t like what he was doing they should get on and do their own. Is the heat getting to him?

Snouts in the Trough : Peter Hain

The Belfast Telegraph’s David Gordon has highlighted Peter Hain’s penchant for expensive taxpayer-funded flights to sporting events in Ireland.

Hain flew in specially chartered planes to a Dublin rugby international and two Sligo motor racing events within the past year. The bill for Hain’s costly jollies comes to £10,754. Hain, a keen motorsports fan, flew with one official last October to Sligo to attend a motorsports event. The cost of this one-day trip was £2,491. In February he flew to Dublin to attend an Ireland versus Wales rugby match. Three officials went with him and the bill for the one-day trip came to £5,002. In March, he was back in Sligo again to attend another Rally Ireland event. Two officials flew with him on a charter plane for a two-day stay which cost £3,271.

The use of taxpayer-funded charter flights to attend jollies has even provoked the Conservative Party’s Northern Ireland spokesman, David Lidington: “Everyone accepts the need for Ministers to travel, sometimes at short notice, but these three trips sound like costly jollies at taxpayers’ expense.” Guido thinks Hain can get a bloody Ryanair flight to the rugby at his own expense like the rest of us.

Des Smith Hits the Bottle

Des Smith hit the bottle hard last week under the pressure of the police inquiry into the cash for honours scam. He broke down in tears yesterday in court as he was sentenced for drink driving at Redbridge magistrates. The police evidence to the court was that he was three times over the maximum limit. Guido has a lot of empathy for a fellow hard-drinking Catholic. Will the school governors feel the same?
It can hardly be good for school discipline that the kids know the headmaster has been arrested in a corruption investigation and that he now has a criminal record as well. His involvement in fund raising for Sleazy Levy, who has also been arrested and is himself the primary target of the investigation, offers a way out. Clearly the Sleaze Master General is the one the police really want to nail.

Currently Des Smith is in denial and protesting his innocence. Guido’s advice, in the best of Catholic traditions, is that Des should make a full confession to Yates’ Operation Ribble.

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Prezza v BloggersMichael White Gives Round One To Prezza on Points

Michael White is scoring the fight this morning-

The war of Prezza’s stetson is not over yet. But the political bloggers have lost the first round.

Prezza’s pugilistic skills may be infamous, but if he won the first round on points, the judges are fixed. Him and his corner have not laid a glove on Guido despite all the bluster. The commentariat really ought to get their line straight, the New Statesman’s Peter Wilby says we are not making the running, White now says we were, and that we lost. Have no fear, Guido is ready to go fifteen rounds with the gloves off.

Remember, round two doesn’t start until the cowboy is running the country. Guido has seen Prezza shadow boxing, and the shadow won.

UPDATE : Boxing must be the theme of the day, this morning the wonks at the Adam Smith Institute say that Guido has John Prescott and “the government reeling on the ropes, if not down on the canvas. He has in effect taken on the role of official opposition, which is fine for the Conservatives because it leaves them free to rebuild their brand and prepare to take over. Political and media figures devour his blog every day, and it’s easy to see why. It’s compulsive reading.”

Dirty Money

Graphic Credit : Beau Bo D’Or
Iain Dale has followed up on Michael Brown, the LibDem’s biggest donor of election campaign funds. Who, Guido believes he is correct in saying, is still in jail on remand. It is possible that LibDem members could be jointly and severally liable to HSBC for the contested money – some thirty quid a head? It makes grim reading…

Is there any wonder why our ever so noisy politicians are silent on their dirty money problems? State funding of parties will be even worse and a reward for their crooked ways. Levy arrested, Michael Brown in jail, if the police nick a Tory we will have a full crooked set.

Will anyone, or any party stand against state funding of these crooks? Or must it be gunpowder?

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PMQs Kicks Off

Usual tragic-magic trick of condolences to start.

Home-Pack climb down is the opener. Dave makes a crack about Blair moving home soon.

Dave makes an “answer the question” jibe, saying get used to it, because the way things are going you’ll be soon be answering Scotland Yard’s questions.

Guido cracks open the rosé.

Ming bores on about the Middle East (safely).

Michael Meacher bores on about Middle East. Takes the Hizbollah line, speaker tells him to shut up and sit down. Guido emails Mossad with details of where Meacher lives…

John Maples does a comedy turn on the PM’s holiday, suggests he stays at home and send the DPM to an Italian Palace with his diary secretary.

Back in the Daily Politics studio, Ed Balls seems to be sporting a new, sharper haircut. Have the image consultants who got Gordon to bleach his smile, told Balls to sort his haircut out and wear contact lenses? In his SpAd days Balls was far more dishevelled.

Quote of the Week

“Michael Abraham Levy, I am arresting you under the terms of the Honours (Prevention of Abuses) Act 1925 and the Political Parties, Election and Referendum Act 2000.”

Detective Superintendent Graham McNulty

Putin takes the Michael out of Blair

Yesterday Putin relished taking the mick out of Blair (the mick of course being Lord Michael Levy). Asked what his message would be to Blair in view of implicit criticism by the British ambassador to Moscow of Putin’s governance, the authoritarian Russian leader started sly: “We carefully hear out all our partners,” he said. “We take into consideration their views on such issues but we take our decisions ourselves.” Putin then twisted the knife with a smile. “There are also other questions… Questions, let’s say, about the fight against corruption. We’d be interested in hearing your experience, including how it applies to Lord Levy.”

Psy-Ops in the War on Sleaze

The Scotsman reports that there is panic in Downing Street as Levy puts Blair squarely in the frame. Guido has been merrily emailing the cut out ‘n play Sleazy Sweepstakes gamesheet to SpAds and civil servants in a tactic borrowed from U.S. Army’s Central Command in the run up to the liberation of Iraq.

Psy-Ops units waged online warfare by sending emails and text messages to Iraqi senior officers telling them to surrender in advance of the U.S. Army’s Rolling Thunder operation. The effect of these messages on morale was telling, it showed the Republican guard that the enemy knew them individually, knew where to get them and how. The Republican Guard consequently put up no defence when the U.S. Army arrived. In advance of Yates of the Yard’s detectives’ Operation Ribble, Guido has borrowed some of those psy-ops tactics, after all, as concerned citizens we must each do our little bit in the War on Sleaze.

Email Guido for a gamesheet to print out, then email it onwards as appropriate or just cut out and play Sleazy Sweepstakes in your office. (Peerages not included.)

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Guido’s Levy Files

Unlike the Sleaze-Master General, Guido’s files have not gone up in smoke. Here for the assistance of some surprised journalists, is the story so far as told on this blog.

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Levy Does the Perp Walk! Guido Does a Jig!

As Guido predicted as long ago as March and pointed to on Saturday, the Sleazemaster General has been arrested.

It is going to get even bigger quicker than you might think.

Levy should have taken Guido’s advice when he had the chance, shouldn’t he?

So, where was Nick Robinson, the pundit who told us the police would go through the motions and the investigation would go nowhere, when the story broke? In Sheperds restaurant having a leisurely lunch…

Remember, Remember….

As Guido predicted as long ago as March and pointed to on Saturday, the Sleazemaster General has been arrested.

It is going to get even bigger quicker than you might think.

Levy should have taken Guido’s advice when he had the chance, shouldn’t he?

So, where was Nick Robinson, the pundit who told us the police would go through the motions and the investigation would go nowhere, when the story broke? In Sheperds restaurant having a leisurely lunch…

Mayor Boles?

Guido understands that Nic Boles plans to throw his hat in the ring for mayor of London. Hard to say if it is hubristic or not. His performance in Hove was not brilliant and he would himself admit he was disappointed. So what qualifies him to be mayor of London?
The Policy Exchange boss has done lots of worthy things on “localism” he even served as chairman of Westminster’s Housing Committee and a few years ago Nic was associate producer of the West End production of “The Mysteries“. Which is a good way of describing the Tory selection process for their mayoral candidate.

The Tories plan to let Labour party members choose their candidate (Guido kids you not). Francis Maude, the party chairman, reckons “We already have the loyal support of our membership, … But now we need to reach out to the wider electorate and get new people involved in politics.” Anyone on the electoral roll will be able to choose the Tory mayoral candidate.

Guido is only too ready and willing to support and campaign for the man who has done more for the joy of London than any other, the proud Thatcherite, successful entrepreneur, supreme cultural ambassador and mayor-to-be: Peter Stringfellow.

Fancy That…

Asked if Lord Levy was still the UK’s Middle East envoy, the PMOS said “yes”.

Is that an Office Under the Crown? What are the added legal ramifications?
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+++ BBC NEWS TONIGHT +++ LORD LEVY & RUTH TURNER

Guido has been tipped off that tonight Robert Peston* will flesh out details of the transactions between No. 10, Lord Levy, Ruth Turner and Gulaam Noon tonight on the BBC 10 O’Clock News. This is the nomination which was too much for the Lords Appointments Commission. The whole affair stinks and the smell isn’t curry.

The Beeb has been very wary about the whole Loans for Lordships saga, this signals that they are starting to realise that this corruption reaches into Downing Street.

UPDATE : Odd – in the version that was read over the phone to Guido, Ruth Turner was mentioned, in the broadcast she was not. She is mentioned in the online story.

Blunkett Sues, He Should Lose

Blunkett is suing the Sunday Times and The Times over their reporting of his expenses fiddle [as linked]. Steven Swinford wrote the articles about the disgraceful fiddle whereby MPs claim off the taxpayer for interest and furnishing costs even if they don’t have a mortgage (or new furniture). It is, they always say when challenged, “within the rules”.

But it is not honourable or justifiable, it is a blatant fiddle ripping off the taxpayer for non-existent expenses.

The article in question identified David Blunkett, Jack Straw, John Prescott, Geoff Hoon, Ruth Kelly and Margaret Beckett as fiddling between them hundreds of thousands of pounds in unjustified expenses. It is a joke at the taxpayers expense that they are allowed to get away with this.

Guido hopes the Sunday Times & The Times stick to their guns. It is not as if Blunkett has much of a reputation to defend – he is a proven liar who has been caught fiddling his expenses before and has had to resign from office in disgrace twice. Blunkett is feeling a bit cocky having won a couple of court cases recently. This one he deserves to lose.

Here is something of interest, of the mortgage fiddling men named in Swinford’s article – Blunkett, Prescott, Straw and Hoon – the first two have been exposed in the press for having illicit affairs, the latter two have not as yet.

See also :
Hoon Fiddles Expenses “In Accordance With The Rules”
Four Lords A-Fiddling

Gotcha! Ben Abotts Fakes It

Ben Abbotts claimed to have helped out in an orphanage during his gap year and put the photos in an election leaflet. Turns out he “helped out” for a few hours. In another leaflet he was pictured cleaning graffiti off a wall near the LibDem campaign office with the slogan “Crime Action Needed Now. It’s time to restore pride.” Ben is pictured taking action, proudly. An outraged constituent, Jaj, sent Guido these pictures. Full story here. Ben Abbott is a professional liar who works for the grubbiest spin merchants in Westminster – LLM (Lobbying, Lying and Mendacity) – so you would have thought that, as a pro, he would have realised he would be caught out faking photos. He didn’t do anything more than don marigolds for the photo op – the graffiti is still there…

If You Go Down to the Lords Today…

If you go down to the Lords today,
You’re sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to the Lords today,
You’d better go in disguise.
For every Lord that ever there was
Will gather there for certain because
Today’s the day the Lordships claim their allowances.

My thanks to a very diligent co-conspirator who not only found the fabled whereabouts of the Lords’ Queue, but sent a map too. The legendary Lords’ queue is where they get their day (and overnight) allowance. The sight of all those Noble Lords queuing every day to claim their allowances, having spent precious little time in the Lords Chamber and even less time contributing to Lords debate is truly something to behold. Even without fiddling their expenses they can make £150 a day just for joining the queue – and many do just that.

The noble Lords queue up once a day in the evening at their Fees Office (administered by Black Rod) near the Pugin Room on the ‘red benches’ side of the Palace of Westminster. An MP or a Commons researcher with a Category 10 Pass could legitimately encounter the Noble Queue by taking a short cut from the Pugin Room through the Lords Library corridor back to Commons territory. Guido would like a picture of that queue – this is a covert mission, surreptitious use of the camera-phone will be required. In return for undertaking this risky mission there will be a prize of a copy of bestselling The Bumper Book of Government Waste* to the person who first emails or texts Guido the picture.

Don’t forget to nominate politicians with their “snouts in the trough” to : Pork Busting, giving the name of the politician and the reason. Guido is compiling from the emails a list of politicians with their snouts deep in the public trough and will then organise a readers poll to find our piggiest politician.

*Prize courtesy of publisher Stephen Eckett at www.harrimanhouse.com

Women’s Choices

Health minister Ivan Lewis told the Today programme on Friday “that we have to trust and respect women. Give them the information and then allow them to make the best choice for themselves.”
Guido wonders how much he trusts and respects Maggie Gibb, a councillor in his constituency who has been reported to the Standards Board for England after allegedly giving the finger to a teacher at a local school due to be closed.
[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Tory MP Nick Boles says what everyone thinks…

“There is a timidity and lack of ambition about Mrs May’s Government which means it constantly disappoints. Time to raise your game, Prime Minister.”

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