Watching the Pigs Vote

The chamber is unusually busy for a late Thursday afternoon, more often than not many MPs slope off early on Thursday for the weekend. Could it be that they have a lot of self interest in this particular vote?

Various pleadings are being made:

Others earn more. GPs for instance. Well if you want to make more money go do something else. Study at medical school and cure people rather than tax them.

We deal with hundreds of letters. No they don’t, their staff do.

We work 70 hours a week. Oh, please.

We need to attract the best and the brightest. Why? Are the best and the brightest motivated by money?

We are so hard done by. Come off it. Long serving MPs amass massive pensions and property portfolios paid for by taxpayers. Never has a class of parasites complained so loudly about the generosity of the host.

None of them mention that their current package is already worth over £130,000, they all prefer to refer disingenuously to the basic salary of £61,820. The existing basic package including accommodation allowance is worth £98,670, add on the £30 per diem allowance and the pension and you have a clearer picture of the total £130,000 package. The trough is filled with honourable snouts…

That Helicopter Doesn’t Look Very Green

Guido isn’t very good at ‘green’ issues. Dave on the other hand is a bit of an expert. So is it greener to take a helicopter to Haltemprice and Howden rather than a train? PMQs ended yesterday at 12.30, leaving plenty of time to catch a direct train leaving Kings Cross at 13.33. Yet Dave and a couple of CCHQ lackies instead took a chopper to East Yorks to see Basher Davis yesterday. So Battersea to Howden, then Howden to Selby (12 miles). Guido’s spy in the sky lost track of him at this point.

The chopper in question was G-ELTE (pictured). Dave apparently went to stay with his father-in-law for the night. Plenty of room to land a chopper on the estate…

Are MPs Worth Four Times the Average?

Today MPs will vote on their own pay and conditions. Who else gets to decide how much someone else has to pay them? It is not like we have competing parliaments to choose from, they set the taxes, and they set their own personal rake off. Like any criminal protection racket, if we don’t pay they will use force to take the money off us.

MPs currently are paid a basic salary of £61,820, almost triple the average UK earnings at £23,244. All but a few dozen also claim the Additional Costs Allowance of £22,110 – equivalent to £36,850 before tax. So the existing basic package is actually worth £98,670. They don’t like to admit this, but that is the existing reality.
They can also claim £20 per diem food allowance, they want this to rise to £30 per diem. Why can’t someone earning more than four times the average wage pay for their own lunchtime sandwiches? Front line soldiers, with pay and conditions determined by MPs, are given the equivalent of £2.30 per diem for rations. School children from low income families get the equivalent of 50p per diem. Why do they think they deserve so much more than soldiers risking their lives and impoverished children?

*This is not including the opportunity to boost household income, as many of them do, by paying their wife, mistress, husband, lover and children. Don’t forget they also claim for all transport, have a gold plated pension, subsidised bars and restaurants on top of the daily food allowance. In total they can claim up to £159,720 in expenses, in 1997 the total maximum expenses claimable by an MP was only £50,213 so that is a rise of 213%. Millionairess Barbara Follett gets her windows cleaned at the taxpayers expense, Margaret Beckett has her gardening done at the taxpayers expense. We buy them new kitchens, dishwashers, washing machines and widescreen plasma TVs. We bought lunch for Prescott to vomit up, and we paid to clean it up as well. We paid Caroline Spelman’s nanny, the Speaker’s wife’s taxi bills, Nick Clegg’s household renovation, enough mileage allowance for Janet Anderson MP to drive twice around the world. We even paid for first class tickets for Blunkett’s dirty weekends away with someone else’s wife. We also paid £7m for a refit of the parliamentary wine cellar. Cheers!

Murray was Doomed the Moment Gordon Wished Him Well…

Asked whether the Prime Minister would send his good wishes to Andy Murray for his next match, the PMS said it was the Prime Minister’s view that the whole of the country would want to see Andy Murray continue his good progress.
Lobby Briefing July 1, 2008


Andy Murray is beaten up in own backyard: you had to feel for Andy Murray yesterday. It is never nice to be beaten up in your own backyard.

Jonah Brown strikes again…

Secret of Irish Profits

Two interesting bits of Irish news yesterday. Research released Wednesday shows that in Britain the average company makes a profit of some €22,500 per employee. This compares to Irish companies who on average make a profit per employee of €45,800. This is after transfer pricing and other disortions were stripped out.

Is that why the security services on behalf of the British government illegally and secretly monitored every telephone, fax and email to and from the UK and Ireland for seven years. Using laws which the British government insisted were necessary to combat a growing threat from terrorism they undertook mass covert surveillance. Do they want the secret of high profits or do they think Osama is hiding in the caves of the West coast? Think he went that way…

In a landmark ruling yesterday the European Court of Human Rights ruled that the British government’s scheme of external surveillance was not “in accordance with the law”. Of course the British government tacitly allows the Americans to do the same to you.

Vaz Down Payment : Bigger Office

Guido is hearing conflicting claims regarding the Vaz pay-off “appropriate reward”. Labour sources say he only managed to negotiate a better office. Selling our liberty at such a cheap price – surely not?

+++ Balls “Sorry” Ministerial Limo Collided With Pedestrian +++

14.57 Just in from a co-conspirator :

Some poor fellow was just walking along Great Smith Street ahead of me, just outside of the Department for Children, Schools and Families. A car zoomed up outside and the door was flung open in a “I’m important and busy” manner – hitting the poor pedestrian. The moron responsible eventually shouted a token “sorry”, but not before those standing about (including me) had spotted that the culprit was the popular Ed Balls.

The door was opened just ahead of the pedestrian who walked into it, although was protecting himself with his hands as he must have seen it coming at the last second.

It was the reason why he eventually shouted an apology. He also had his team with him (3 or 4 people), and there were another two or three bystanders.

Source is pukka.

16:12 UPDATE : Another co-conspirator is prompted to email:

A couple of years ago I was at the dentist in Victoria Street. Ed Balls was there with his daughter. When they left, Ed was on the phone being incredibly busy and important. He walked out of the heavy swing door letting it fall back on his daughter who got properly squidged. She must have been no more than about 8 years old and the valiant little soul put her whole body strength into squeezing the door open again and followed her dad out into the street where he was still on the phone completely oblivious.

Not the most recent of events granted, but shows he has got form…

Arise Lord Vaz of 42 Days?

At PMQs Dave asked Gordon where there deals done over the 42 days vote. Gordon gave an uncharacteristically direct answer in the negative. Dave asked him to explain the following as the Labour benches looked embarrassed.

The Daily Telegraph has got hold of a letter sent by chief whip Geoff Hoon to Vaz expressing an expectation that his former ministerial colleague will be “appropriately rewarded” for backing the measure to hold terror suspects for up to 42 days without charge.

Slimy Vaz is the Labour chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee. He was at first opposed to the plans but eventually gave them his full backing.

Vaz was asked in Parliament during the debate if he had been offered an honour for his support. He said: “No, it was certainly not offered—but I do not know; there is still time.”

Hoon’s letter says:

“Dear Keith…

Just a quick note to thank you for all your help during the period leading up to last Wednesday’s vote. I wanted you to know how much I appreciated all your help… I trust that it will be appropriately rewarded!…With thanks and best wishes,

Geoff.”

So “Lord Vaz” it is…

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Google reports 92,332 absolute unique visitors came here last month. More people visited Guido than any other comparable political website.*

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Guido would especially like to thank his advertisers this month for their support and contribution to his cellars.

Amazon – Guido’s readers buy hundreds of books every month.
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War on Want – Keeps Guido in Margaux.
WWF – Love those Pandas…

*Fewer people re-loaded PoliticalBetting.com more often.

Another Day, Another Downing Street Rat…

Andrew Porter reports that Martin Sheehan, Gordon’s Head of Strategic Communications, is making the dash for cash to PR firm Portland.

Martin Sheehan says: “The opportunity to join Portland at this stage in the company’s growth is one I couldn’t refuse. Working for two Prime Ministers has been a fantastic experience. After spending eight of the last ten years in Downing Street, it’s time for a new challenge.” Translation: a year of the Prime Mentalist is enough for me…

Gordon Emails Wendi in New York

Guido has got this before it appears in PR Week:

Last week Downing Street functionaries were asked by Gordon to switch off auto-complete on his email software. It turned out that our early morning emailing PM had accidentally emailed Wendi Deng, also known as Mrs Rupert Murdoch.

Easy mistake to make, but Mrs Murdoch doesn’t really have much interest in Scottish politics. No doubt she is a little better informed now…

Pundits Think SNP Could Take Glasgow East

The punditry can get a little carried away, less than a year ago they thought Gordon could walk on water, now they think he is a millstone around Labour’s neck. 65% of the “insider panel” on PoliticsHome reckons the SNP will win Glasgow East. Guido is amazed that they think the SNP can catch up from 43.7% behind. That would be phenomenal…

Guido is sceptical, but Brown is such a Jonah,* you never know…

*Oil is up some $10 since he went to beg the sheiks to cut their profits. In a result reminiscent of the New Deal for Youth that resulted in higher youth unemployment, the plan to build millions of new homes has resulted in the lowest number of houses being built since World War II. God really hates this accursed one-eyed, son of the manse, Prime Mentalist.

Gordon Droned Mandela Out

The rumour swirling around the hospitality enclosure at the Mandela concert on Friday night was that Brown charmlessly went straight in hard with talk of Zimbabwe and the Africa summit (according to a security source). Mandela turned to his wife and entourage saying he was tired and should leave almost as soon as Brown arrived to sit with him.
As the balcony was well lit for the TV cameras, concert goers could see from the floor that Brown was sat alone well before the end of the gig. Mandela was said to be exhausted, being 90 and having just delivered a speech in front of thousands. So he left Gordon.

Hence the cosy pictures of Mandela with his feet up with Dave, but none such with the Prime Mentalist…

Friday Competition Winners

A record 326 competition entries, if indeed some of them could be dignified with that description. Guido could not make his mind up on a single winner, as usual most entries were crap and obvious. Anyway the three that tickled Guido’s jaded and twisted sense of humour were:

SACKERSON said…

At that point I said, now tell me the truth about you and Carol.

idle said…

Cherie Birkin, QC:

“blahmutterblahmutter COCKTAIL PARTY AT THE INNS OF COURT blahblahmutter PUBLIC-SCHOOL TYPE blahblahblah LOOKED AT ME IN A MOST SUGGESTIVE FASHION muttermutterblah ANYWAY, blahblah I SAW MY CHANCE OF SOCIAL ADVANCEMENT blahmuttermutterblah SO I CRADLED HIS TESTICLES IN MY HAND JUST LIKE THIS mutterblahmuttermutter AND HE EXPLODED LIKE A CHINESE FIREWORK!

I’M AFRAID TO SAY I WAS VERY, VERY DRUNK……”

Oscar said…

Fuck me. It looks like she’s trying to whistle.

Email Guido with your address(es), and a copy of John Laughland’s A History of Political Trials: From Charles I to Saddam Hussein will be sent Royal Mail…

The winners are truly one(s) in a hundred…

Balls Gets Clap

The Thomas Cubitt bar off Eaton Square, Belgravia, is a favourite of hedge fund managers and girls who want to marry them (or failing that, Prince Harry). Guido can particularly recommend the 1988 Chateau Rauzan-Ségla Margaux at £120 a bottle and the 1999 Louis Roederer Cristal at £190 for your mistress.

Exactly the kind of establishment you would expect to find Ed Balls frequenting – after all unlike the rest of us he does not have to worry about higher mortgage payments – we pay his for him. Last week he was in the Cubitt and the hedgies resentfully ignored him encroaching onto their territory. Until it was that it was time for him to leave; when he stood up the room gave him a slow hand-clap. Ed’s blink rate increased as he attempted to make a dignified exit.

He is rumoured to be a possible replacement for Alistair Darling at the Treasury. Clearly not something that will please the City’s moneymen….

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Sunday Sleaze Round-Up

Guido has introduced a simple Pigs in Shit rating system for guidance on the misdemeanors of porcine politicians (guide here). Post links in the comments.

MPs Cashing in on Zimbabwe’s Misery

Totally disingenuous headline in the Indy on Sunday. The Tory MPs own shares in multi-national corporations that do business in Zimbabwe. Which means the majority of the country with a pension plan or a Barclays bank account is guilty on the terms set by the Indy. Nil pigs.

Spelman Faces Fresh RevelationsSky

CPS Study Abrahams ‘Dodgy’ Donations Dossier from PoliceSky

It ain’t over until it is over.

MEPs’ Champagne ‘Study Days’ Cost Taxpayer £200,000 – Sunday Times

Champagne swilling luxury junket taking the piss out of taxpayers as per normal.

How MPs Claim for a Second HomeSunday Telegraph

Simple explanation of the mechanics of the fiddle.

Wintertons to Cost Taxpayers Thousands More on New Flat Mail on Sunday

Continuing tale of the troughing Tory twosome. Why don’t they live in their own now mortgage-free luxury flat? The taxpayer has bought it for them and fitted it out already. They are a troughing disgrace.

Labour Mired in Sleaze Claims as Scots Leader Quits and MPs are Accused of Homes Tax-DodgeMail on Sunday

Scottish Leader and Scottish MP go in disgrace.

‘Over 100 MPs’ in Multi-Million Tax Dodge Over Second HomesMail on Sunday
A specific capital gains dodge used by the likes of James Purnell and many others.

Scots Labour Leader ‘Confident of Being Cleared’ after ResigningMail on Sunday
No chance Wendy.

Marshall in Shock Resignation after Rumours Over ExpensesMail on Sunday
End of the gravy train for one MP.

The Letter That Sealed Wendy’s Fate

click to enlarge
Back in November Guido had the exclusive scoop and was the first to publish this letter,* saying it would mean Wendy Alexander was toast. This personal note to Paul Green (dated October 5) showed that her telling the media that the first time she knew about his personal donation was 1 pm the previous day was simply untrue.

Paul Green also admitted that he gave two personal cheques of £950 which would have put him over the £1000 barrier and shown he was an impermissible offshoredonor.

Guido predicted that “there is no wriggle room. She is on the hook completely”. So it turned out, eventually.


*N.B. Incidentally, Guido was accused by Labour supporters of forging the letter.

Gordon Brown’s Unhappy Anniversary


Via Eyebrow Magazine

Friday Caption Contest

Prize of John Laughland’s A History of Political Trials: From Charles I to Saddam Hussein to the wittiest comment – which is not going to be the most obvious comment.

+ READ MORE +



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