In the Bunker After the Glasgow East Result

Clegg Does Realpolitik, Ends Policy of “Equi-Distance”

Nick Clegg says he is shifting resources to target what they see as the 50-most winnable Labour seats, pouring efforts and campaigners into fighting Gordon.

This is a sensible strategic move in the face of the reality of the polls, a change of government won’t happen if LibDems and Tories swap seats, a change of government will only happen if the LibDems and Tories take seats from Labour.

Guido advocated a Tory – LibDem non-aggression pact when Labour were riding high (Time for Tactical Decisions from CCHQ and Cowley Street). It still seems like a good idea. Having the LibDems as the official opposition to a Tory government would realise Margaret Thatcher’s oft stated ambition – to have a non-socialist alternative to the Conservatives, that would be her final victory. If Labour are attacked by Lib-Dems from second place and don’t waste money attacking second placed Tories in Labour seats they have a chance of becoming the official opposition. Over the border in Scotland the SNP have also removed Labour’s perpetual grip on on power. The total destruction of the Labour Party as a political threat is within grasp if the opposition parties are imaginative…

First Poll Shows Obama Hit by Jonah Effect

The monthly USA Today / Gallup poll is the first post Obama-Brown meeting poll. Guido can report that the Jonah effect has even diminished “the one”. This time last month Gallup reported that amongst likely voters McCain trailed Obama by 3% (44% against 47%). Since meeting Jonah Brown that position has reversed, McCain now leads by 4% (49% to 45%), a hefty 7% swing. In polling terms this is a McCain surge.

McCain be warned – don’t meet Gordon Brown – the safety of the free world depends on it…

UPDATE : Met Office issues second day of severe weather warnings for the East of England. A co-conspirator, Lola, reports

Bloody great thunder storm here in Suffolk last night. Rather like a towering Scotch rage. Woke me up. Then I remembered that Jonah was in the general area. I must say it made me giggle.

Jonah Brown, ruining everyone’s holiday in Southwold…

+++ Newsnight’s Peter Barron Quits for Google +++

The Press Gazette is reporting that Newsnight’s editor Peter Barron is to leave the BBC at the end of the week to become UK head of public relations for Google. Wonder what it was about the multi-million pound stock options package that made him quit one of the most politically influential jobs in broadcasting?

Watson Enforces Standing Ovation

At the Warwick National Policy Forum Brown tripped onto the stage to make his speech. Sky News showed someone falling asleep in the front row as the tractor statistics rolled out, Gordon attempted to half-heartedly attack the Tories. At this Tom Watson, who revels in his enforcer role and is the man the Tories can thank for getting rid of Blair, started clapping,. Somehow the lone claps had an air of menace that eventually brought a few more to their feet. Saddam used to note who was last to stand up and the first to sit down the for his ovations…

Prime Mentalist’s Psychiatric Questions Go Mainstream

Is Bruce Anderson the first mainstream pundit to question Gordon’s psychiatric state? Here he is in the Indy this morning:

The stories are seeping out from No. 10. The other day, Gordon Brown was convinced that Dominic Grieve, the shadow Home Secretary, had made such a strong attack on 42-day detention as to impugn his commitment to national security. Although Downing Street advisers trawled and Googled, they could not find the quote. Their boss expressed gratitude for their efforts in the way that a sergeant-major would thank a recruit for a speck of dust on his rifle. Mr Brown then stationed himself at a terminal. For the next four hours, he sat there unavailingly, emanating gloom and rage. The non-psychiatric interpretation of his behaviour is termed “the playing politics with national security syndrome”.

Shortly afterwards, John Prescott was in No. 10, showing around some children. “What’s he doing in this building?” exploded Mr Brown. “Get him out of here.” (He surely cannot regard Mr Prescott as a potential leadership challenger – otherwise, things are truly desperate).

Embarrassed aides explained that, you know, Mr Prescott had been Deputy Prime Minister until last year, and what harm could there be in showing kids around? Gordon Brown’s response was to shut himself in the Cabinet Room for the next two hours, talking to no-one.

In emails and conversations people say that they think twat-watch and the Prime Mentalist tag are very amusing. Guido is deadly serious, we have a head of government who is not in touch with reality and dangerously malevolent. He has surrounded himself with second-rate yes men who don’t stand up to him and cowed the cabinet with his angry vindictiveness. That is why we have such dysfunctional government. Ministers and MPs were too scared to hold a contested election for leader, they are by and large too scared to openly tell him to go, so the curtain won’t come down on the disaster show…

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Jonah Goes on Holiday : Met Office Issues Severe Weather Warning

Warning type : Heavy Rain Valid from 1632 Sun 27 Valid to 2200 Sun 27

Scattered thunderstorms will affect some places during the rest of this afternoon and into this evening. Some downpours are likely to result in 15 mm of rainfall in 1 hour. The public are advised to take extra care and refer to the latest Environment Agency, Floodline, and Flood Warnings in force, and also to the Highways Agency for further advice regarding traffic disruption on motorways and trunk roads.

Prime Mentalist Forgets He’s On Holiday

Gordon is feeling our pain, feeling the pinch*, so he is holidaying at a £4,500-a-week hide-away. Bizarrely he has just given Sky News an interview with soft focus shots of him and the missus walking in the park in holiday mode (stiff light coloured jacket, paedo in a playground smile). He told Sky “I’m getting on with the job”- Eh? Wrong script, he is supposed to be on holiday…

*Guido is at a loss to understand how he is feeling our pain. He has never paid to fill up a car with petrol and charges even light bulbs and his Sky subscription to us on expenses.

He Ventured Forth To Bring Light To The World…

Via Tory Bear

He Ventured Forth To Bring Light To The World…

Via Tory Bear

Sleazy Speaker Sunday Special

Focus this Sunday Sleaze on the Piggy-in-Chief, the Speaker Michael Martin. This is the man supposedly in charge of reform, he is as unsuited to reforming and opening up parliament as can be. The Sunday Times has a fantastic investigation into his affairs by Stephen Robinson. It shows just how Michael Martin has enriched himself and his family at our expense. In many ways the Speaker symbolises all that is wrong with our parliamentarians, the arrogant sense of self entitlement, the dodgy payments to family and friends, the desperate desire to keep it all in the shadows and out of sight of the voters. You must read the article.

Who’s Laughing Now Quentin?

Spare a moment once again for Quentin Davies, the man who last year had the sense of judgement to leave the Conservatives for the socialists, simultaneously accusing Dave of “unreliability and an apparent lack of any clear convictions”. Praising at the same time Gordon “a leader I have always greatly admired, who I believe is entirely straightforward, and who has a towering record, and a clear vision for the future of our country which I fully share.” You share his fate now Quentin…

Emily Keeps Straight Face

Guido and a few others were just watching BBC News when they repeated the Gordon speech from this morning – job to do, listening, blah, blah, high fuel prices, blah, global economic etc. After it finished Emily Maitlis deadpanned to camera “That was Gordon Brown, getting on with the job”. We all burst out laughing.
The state broadcaster keeps repeating the clip of Gordon shaking hands with a line of smiling supporters in Warwick (who are according to a Labour source all party staffers) instructed to get out there in front of the cameras. Very Ceauşescu…

Shocking Pictures : Tory MP Intimately Embracing Nanny

Rozzer has “slammed” Guido and his conspirators for our caption contest vulgarity in the Romford Recorder. So can co-conspirators show him the respect he deserves in this competition. Will dig out a book prize for the winner…

Co-Conspirators Need to Gloat a Bit More

Guido has this morning dropped his wallet after filling it up at an ATM, received a congestion charge penalty incurred by Mrs Fawkes, waited to let the cleaner in who didn’t show up (nanny is on honeymoon), and lost a few bets on the result last night.[…] Read the rest

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