Comrade Gordon’s 5-Year Plan Today

It is going to be all Gordon, all day today. He will be telling us how we live in a heaven on earth and tractor production in the Urals is up 500% since the last 5-year plan.

Meantime the government spends even more than it taxes us to the tune of something like £100,000,000 a day. The BBC always like to tell us it costs less than a newspaper a day, well Gordon overspends three newspapers a day for every man, woman and child in the country – every day.

The result? Inflation at the highest since 1991, government indebtedness out of control and the whole public sector pay and prolifigacy being done off-balance-sheet means the City is demanding more and more to hold government debt. His main boast is that he removed monetary policy from his control by ceding interest rate decision making to the Bank of England. The longest sustained period of growth in generations that he boasts about began under the Tories after we came out of the ERM system – a decision he bitterly opposd at the time. Child poverty rates were lower under Thatcher, youth unemployment is higher now than it was in 1997 and social mobility is lower than it was under Thatcher as well. Everything he has meddled with has become overly complex and muddled. Ask any Blairite why after ten years the welfare state and the public sector remain largely unreconstructed and they will tell you it is because of Gordon’s obstructionism. The business sector is groaning under the weight of over-regulation and over-taxation, Britain has tumbled from the top to the bottom of the competitiveness tables. In benign times he has had no major economic disaster, but no economic success either.

For all his talk of reform and renewal of public services for the benefit of ordinary working people, remember when he dazzles his new sincere smile, he went private for it

Paging Deborah Mattinson, Paging Deborah Mattinson

Guess Who Did This Attack Ad Before the End

3 Out of 4 Beautiful People Selected

With the selction of Zac Goldsmith for Richmond, three out of the four A-listers first identified by Guido as thebeautiful people have been selected for seats of varying likelihood of being won. Only Adam Rickitt remains unplaced. Surely he is the man to turn a Northern town blue?

CORRECTION : Bugger – Julia Manning (third from left) has not been selected – Guido got confused with someone else entirely. So headline wrong, picture wrong and premise wrong. A great start to the week…

New Government Advice Incorrect

“Avoid alcohol if you are pregnant or trying to conceive”shome mishtake shurely, many of us were actually conceived as a result of alcohol….

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View(Shoot That Golden Arrow Edition)

Gerry Sutcliffe, the prisons minister, and Stephen Ladyman, the transport minister, were named during a two-month investigation into “cash for access” by the Sunday Times.

Bidding Breaks a Monkey!

Last bid £510. Half-an-hour to go… last chance to place your bids ladies and gentlemen…

UPDATE : £577 with a minute to go.

UPDATE : The winner has paid up already – via the magic of Ebay and Paypal – Katy and Guido will be making contact to make arrangements. Congratulations to a very generous bidder.

Tory Leader Cheered by NHS Doctors

Guido highlighted the White Coat Demo organised by junior doctors for yesterday. It resulted in the headline you never expected to see. See GuyNews.TV for the extract from Webcameron.

Cameron Wows Junior Doctors

Red Nose Auction, 5 Hours Left : £450 Latest Bid for a Boozy Friday Lunch with Guido and Katy

You have just 5 hours left to bid on Ebay for Guido and Katy…

Details here. Don’t forget you can now also bid on a Co-conspirator Guido T-shirt. (Profits going to Red Nose Day)

White Coat Demo

Tomorrow morning doctors from all over the UK are having a protest march from the College of Physicians in Regents Park to the College of Surgeons in Lincoln Inn Fields; it is not often that doctors give up a Saturday at the golf club, so they must be pretty exercised.

The Guidoisation of Democracy (Part 94)

PA is reporting that “Gordon and Kylie got on really well. They spent quite a bit of time talking to each other over drinks” at a party organised by chick-lit wit Kathy Lette last month. Guido is willing to bet that Gordon’s favourite Kylie video was Slow.

Kylie has a very, very loyal fan following in some quarters.

Friday Caption Contest (Gangsta Edition)

Red Nose Day Charity Auction£330 Latest Bid for a Boozy Friday Lunch with Guido and Katy

C’mon co-conspirators, surely it is worth more than £330 to enjoy the company of Katy and Guido?

You have 48 hours left to bid on Ebay for Guido and Katy…

Details here.

UPDATE : You can now also bid on a Co-conspirator Guido T-shirt. (Profits going to Red Nose Day)

Labour’s “Fear Culture” in Scotland

Blair is losing it, this morning he dismissed the SNP-backing George Mathewson, the ex-Royal Bank of Scotland CEO as “self-indulgent and absurd” after he came out backing freedom for Scotland. He also implied George wasn’t a real businessman – despite the man leading RBS from a regional bank to what is now a global investment banking force.

As chief executive of the Scottish Development Agency, he is credited by many with creating “Silicon Glen”. He took RBS from losses to global profitability. In a letter to The Scotsman today George accuses Labour of scaremongering about the SNP and of creating a “fear culture” about independence – “I have never really seen myself as a political figure, but all I will say is I don’t share the fear culture that some people think we should have.” He dismisses as “absurd” Gordon Brown’s claim that investors would flee if Scotland was free.

All bang on the money, Scotland standing on it’s own two feet would be good for Scotland and good for England. Labour opposes independence because it knows without Scottish Labour MPs, England, which votes Tory, would not be ruled by Scottish Labour as it is now.

The whole Labour party thrust is that the Scottish can’t well rule themselves alone, when in reality it is the Labour party that fears it can’t rule England without Scottish Labour MPs. The scaremongering by Labour is an insult to the Scottish people. The similar sized Republic of Ireland manages to rule itself, have lower taxes and higher per capita GDP than the UK. In comparison, after a decade under Labour, parts of Glasgow now have third-world level health indicators.

Dave Ditches Core Instincts and Still Keeps Base

Over on PoliticalBetting Mike Smithson is giving much consideration to the surprising ease with which Cameron is shifting to the centre without losing much core support. 96% of voters who voted Tory at the last election still plan to vote Tory again, 1 in 9 who voted Labour plan to vote Tory and 1/8 who voted LibDem plan to vote Tory.

So despite the whining on ConservativeHome and in the Telegraph, Tories are sticking with Dave and he is winning over LibDem and Labour voters. Even after moves like this week’s air-travel-tax debacle, which was very badly spun and has resulted in a lot of unease in the ranks and some backtracking – “were just throwing out ideas”, “it is a proposal for discussion” they say now.

Guido hears that Dave even called Will Lewis, editor of the Telegraph to remonstrate about his coverage of the proposal; “Why are you being so horribly harsh about this air-tax” Dave complained, “Well most of our readers have second homes or enjoy foreign holidays, what do you expect me to do?” came the reply.

Nevertheless, Tory voters will it seems just gnash their teeth and still vote for him. They have nowhere elese to go…

Red Nose Day Charity AuctionBid for a Boozy Friday Lunch with Guido and Katy

It has been said that Guido and Katy Taylor-Richards are truly legends in their own lunchtimes. Katy is currently on the Daily Express’ Hickey gossip column.

Being charitable types we have decided that the best and probably only thing we could do for Red Nose Day is auction ourselves for a fabulously fun Friday lunch involving alcohol and unprintable gossip galore.

The location and date will be determined with the winning buyer. So get your wallets out and bid on Ebay for Guido and Katy…

(Yes, 100% of the money goes to Red Nose Day, auction closes Sunday afternoon.)

Yates Writes to Public Administration Select Committee

Doesn’t really say a lot, does say he has enough staff and an “extremely secure environment” (just round the corner from Scotland Yard).

Download the letter here.

Blinky Balls : I Won’t Be Chancellor

Blinky BallsIn a puff piece in the Brownite Daily Mail, Blinky does a bit of false modesty and says “I still have a lot to learn.” He tells Dacre’s hacks, “No” he won’t be taking over at the Treasury “I have been a Minister for less than a year”. Yes, and he has barely managed to hang on to his parliamentary seat. If Brown hadn’t sorted out a sinecure and a peerage for the neighbouring sitting MP his protege would soon face actually having to earn a living.Guido has been betting against Balls being Chancellor for sometime, his odds are far too short and he has effectively made himself a longshot. Alastair Darling should get the gig unless the upcoming cabinet game of musical chairs somehow upsets Brown’s plans. In other bets Guido has rebalanced the Blair-to-Go bet to July/Sep on Betfair. Uncharacteristically am “all red” on any other outcome. If Yates forces an early Blair resignation Guido will take a hammering at the bookies, but it would be worth it…

Cheer yourself up again by watching Blinky fall apart under interrogation by Brillo.

No Independent Deterrent MeansNo Independent Foreign Policy

As the Tories traipse loyally into the “Aye” lobby with Blair it is worth reflecting on what they are really voting for – a foreign and defence policy subordinate to the U.S. national interest. Now it may be the case that U.S.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

John Curtice on fiscal policy:

“Attitudes to taxation and spending are basically counter-cyclical. If a government comes in and tries to reduce spending and taxation, after a while people will get worried about the state of public services. If a government increases taxation and public spending, after a while they’ll get concerned about increasing taxation…. In as much as there are lots of ideologues out there who think the state should be this proportion of GDP, they’re all wrong. Because the public’s view is counter-cyclical to the recent experience. It’s basically impossible to satisfy the public.”

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