Terrible optics from No. 10 just breaking after Boris’s spokesman confirmed during this morning’s lobby briefing that Downing Street has had to apologise to the palace for the parties the night before Prince Philip’s funeral. Asked to clarify exactly what No. 10 has apologised for, the spokesperson said it is “regrettable” the event took place. Bizarrely No. 10 couldn’t say exactly what Downing Street had apologised for. The spokesperson wouldn’t comment on whether he himself had attended either party…

On further details, the PM’s spokesperson wouldn’t comment on details about the size of the booze suitcase, who broke Wilfred’s swing in the garden nor whether the PM knew that his son’s swing had been broken. There have been no resignations overnight off the back of the Telegraph story. Sue Gray has now added the two April 16^th Parties to her growing list of party investigations. As one source points out, this isn’t even the first time Boris has had to apologise to the Queen during his premiership…

Any members of staff at the Strand co-op not abreast of the news won’t know what’s hit them this morning. One detail from last night’s Telegraph partygate exclusive was that No. 10 staff, mid-party, had headed to get reserve booze supplies from the Co-op on the Strand, thus – in the words of Sky’s Rob Powell – making the Trafalgar supermarket branch the “Woking Pizza Express of this whole affair”. 

The Guardian’s Jim Waterson has already inquired how late the alcohol licence is for the store, “asking for a friend with a suitcase”, with ‘Cat’ replying from the official supermarket Twitter account that “Good news – it 24 hours.” Contrary to the Co-op’s claim however, Sky’s Sam Coates turned up at 9.24 to find booze not available for purchase.

Ummm @coopuk - 9:46am but the suitcase would be empty pic.twitter.com/mpDtDstdJH

— Sam Coates Sky (@SamCoatesSky) January 14, 2022

In another tweet, Cat from the Co-Op confirmed that only compostable bags are available, it’s “bring your own suitcase”…

The public’s anger with the partying in Downing Street is hitting the Tories where it hurts, at the polls. The latest poll sees Labour’s lead rising to 11 points over the Tories. That is a mountain to climb before the local elections in May. The Tories could be facing a massacre…

One of the things that has been tantalising the Westminster politico-media nexus is who in the media attended a Downing Street party. James Slack, Deputy Editor-in-Chief of The Sun, was formerly Downing Street’s Director of Communications. Any coverage or lack of coverage of partygate by The Sun has therefore been seen by others through the prism of his current and previous roles. It is fair to say that Slack, for obvious reasons, has definitely held back on coming forward with the story that is the front page scoop in The Telegraph this morning…

Under the byline “Sun reporter” this is how the paper reported (online only) on one of its own this morning:

One of the parties was held for his former director of communications James Slack, while the other bid farewell to one of the PM’s personal photographers.

No10 confirmed a speech was made at the former but did not comment on the photographer’s leaving do.

A spokesperson said: “On this individual’s last day he gave a farewell speech to thank each team for the work they had done to support him, both those who had to be in the office for work and on a screen for those working from home.”

Mr Slack today said: “I wish to apologise unreservedly for the anger and hurt caused. This event should not have happened at the time that it did. I am deeply sorry, and take full responsibility.”

It comes after Boris apologised on Wednesday for attending a party at No. 10 in May 2020.

Mr Slack is now Deputy Editor-in-Chief of The Sun.

The Sun of course has already been fingered for having held its own office Christmas Party during lockdown. Shame to miss this scoop though…

Simon Hart will have had an even less pleasant experience on Question Time last night than most government ministers in recent weeks. Following a drawn-out discussion of the recent weeks’ partying allegations, and Fiona Bruce managing to find one audience member willing to speak out in support, the rest of the audience were given their chance to voice their opinion. Fiona asked if any previous Tory voters had changed their minds. You can see the outcome above…

This demonstration of why the Tories now find themselves 10 points behind in the polls is especially withering given three days ago Guido was sent an email from the Welsh Tories trying to pack the audience with their supporters:

“As you will know, it’s important to have a cross section of opinions in the QT audience. And it’s just as important that they should include the views of people like you.

So if you’re able to attend Shrewsbury on Thursday and you would like to watch the programme live, why not apply to be in the audience? Not only will it be a fun evening out, but you’ll be doing your bit to help keep the programme balanced.”

Last night, the Question Night flop doesn’t even enter the top three biggest breaking developments. For anyone who went to bed early, we saw: 

• The Telegraph reveals No. 10 held two raucous late-night parties the night before Prince Philip’s funeral, where the Queen was heartbreakingly pictured by herself obeying the rules. They claim one SpAd – presumably from the Ministry of Sound – DJ’d, and some went to the Strand Co-Op with a suitcase to fetch booze. WIlf’s swing was also broken…
• Sutton Coldfield Conservative Association’s committee unanimously voted no confidence in Boris – one of the largest and most Tory seats in the West Midlands.
• Andrew Bridgen, a long-time Boris supporter, tells Chopper that he’s submitted a letter of no confidence to Graham Brady.

That New Year’s break to reset went well then…

Once again, the government’s inability to control the actions of civil servants is proving an embarrassment for a political operation intent on preventing continued wokery. While UKRI – the BEIS QUANGO – might be responsible for apportioning research and innovation funding, they’ve found time to also start lecturing on diversity issues. By releasing a woke dictionary…

Sent to Guido, the glossary offers UKRI staff information on new socially-progressive phrases, such as:

• Accountability: Ways individuals and communities hold themselves to their goals and actions, while acknowledging the values and groups to which they are responsible.
• Anti-oppression: Recognising oppressions that exist in society and ways to mitigate their effects to equalise the power imbalance in communities.
• Decolonisation: The process of undoing colonising practices, confronting and challenging practices in the past, which are still present today.
• Microaggression: Daily behaviour (verbal or nonverbal) that communicates hostile or negative insults towards a group, either intentionally or unintentionally.
• Safe space: Daily behaviour (verbal or nonverbal) that communicates hostile or negative insults towards a group, either intentionally or unintentionally.

It’s amazing UKRI have time to bother with such nonsense. Kwasi Kwarteng has already launched a review into the body after ministerial concerns about its spending and general accountability. A Whitehall source tells Guido “This victim mentality gibberish on microaggressions and decolonisation is exactly why ministers are reviewing UKRI’s future”…