Watch In Full: Rishi’s Self-Employed Announcement

Rishi Sunak has announced a new self-employed income support scheme. The Government will pay self-employed people, who have been adversely affected by Coronavirus, a taxable grant worth 80% of their average monthly profits over the last three years, up to £2,500 a month.

The scheme will be open to people across the UK and will run for at least three months.

Grants will be claimable alongside continued earnings.

The scheme will be available for individuals with trading profits of up to £50,000. To make sure only the genuinely self-employed benefit, it will be available to those who make the majority of their income from self-employment. To minimise fraud only those with a tax return for 2019 will be available to apply. 95% of those who are majority self-employed will be able to access the scheme…

HMRC expect to have the scheme set up no later than the beginning of June, however support in the form of the business interruption loans, self-assessment income tax payments have been deferred, and self-employed people can access Universal Credit in full.

mdi-timer 26 March 2020 @ 17:01 26 Mar 2020 @ 17:01 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
May’s Chief of Staff in Late Night “Twinkystar69” Porn Shocker

The late night activities of Gavin Barwell, Theresa May’s chief of staff in Number 10, are usually limited to tweeting from Nando’s. On Monday night however, it appears he was choking the chicken rather than eating it.

Barwell’s Twitter account replied to a pornographic tweet featuring two ‘teen schoolgirls’ and their ‘mom’, as well as a second video from the niche website Blacked.com. Guido has analysed the tweets and determined it is impossible that Barwell was hacked or clicked on a funny link. The only way he could have tweeted a reply featuring these handles – which were tagged into the original porn tweet – is if he was viewing the tweet in question. The porn account’s name is “Twinkystar“, and Gavin was viewing it on his Android device at 9:21pm. At least he wasn’t doing it in the office, right Gavin? 

UPDATE: Barwell has now deleted the tweet, proving he does have access to his account.

UPDATE II: Told Barwell was not in Downing Street when he sent porn reply (phew!). No. 10 source: “Gavin Barwell replied to this tweet, which was in his timeline, in error. He has deleted the reply and regrets the embarrassment this has caused.”

mdi-timer 14 February 2018 @ 09:43 14 Feb 2018 @ 09:43 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Woman Sucks Donkey C*ck on Guardian Front Page

donkey-cock-6

The Guardian have been made to look an ass after a third-party advertising network posted a photo of a woman performing oral sex on a donkey on the front page of their website. Guido has pixellated the image above. Expecting kickback, the Guardian appear to have now closed down all third party network ads on their site. Mule’ll be sorry if you’re the ad network responsible. No braying at the back…

UPDATE: 


As much as we are enjoying the speculation as to our online entertainment, this was in fact sent in by a reader. We originally had a phone call, which we dismissed as improbable. Then we got sent a screenshot from a second source…

mdi-timer 8 November 2016 @ 15:51 8 Nov 2016 @ 15:51 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Top Tory Copper in MILF Porn Shocker

Paul Robinson PORN STASH

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello, what’s going on here then? Humberside’s Deputy Police and Crime Commissioner Paul Robinson used to be a Tory councillor before he landed the £45,000-a-year top cop job. At the time, fellow Tory and PCC Matthew Grove justified appointing his mate because he needed “someone who I have total trust and confidence in and who can fit this profile.” Jobs for the boys-in-blue…

As you can see above, Deputy Robinson’s Twitter ‘likes’ are bluer than a siren. The dirty perpetrator appears to have a penchant for MILF-themed porn, publicly ‘liking’ several photos of very x-rated pics. He also appears to be a fan of a dominatrix called Lady Sonia. Cuff him, boys…

Robinson has presumably committed a heterosexual version of Jack Dromey’s infamous error and forgotten his “likes” are there for all to see. Brings a new meaning to ‘roughing up the suspect’…

mdi-timer 4 May 2016 @ 14:17 4 May 2016 @ 14:17 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Lord Browne’s Twitter Cock-Up

BROWNE HEADERCross bench peer and former BP chief executive Lord John Browne may be an engineering whizz, but he seems to be having trouble understanding that Twitter favourites are not kept private.

A whopping 57% of the tweets Lord Browne has favourited since he joined Twitter two years ago have been pornographic in nature. Whoopsie!!

browne 4

In the minutes after Guido approached Lord Browne for comment, the pictures were mysteriously deleted.

Drill, baby, drill!

UPDATE:

Lord Browne’s people have got in touch with the old “I was hacked” defence.

“The account is run by Lord Browne and his office. It was brought to our attention a week or two ago that it had been hacked, after which a pornographic tweet was deleted and the password was changed.”

We report, you decide…

UPDATE II:

Techno has asked Lord Browne whether he has reported the hacking of his Twitter account to the police. We await a reply.

mdi-timer 20 July 2015 @ 12:41 20 Jul 2015 @ 12:41 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Ed Miliband: I Am Tough Anus

Hell yes!

That’s what £10,000 quid a day training gets you…

mdi-timer 27 March 2015 @ 09:41 27 Mar 2015 @ 09:41 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
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