Seb Dance Vows to Vote for No Deal

This morning, Ursula von der Leyen and Charles Michael formally signed the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement; now only the confirmatory ratification by the European Parliament is needed to secure Britain’s orderly withdrawal in one week’s time.

London Labour MEP Seb Dance reacted by calling it “the saddest moment in my political career”,¬†vowing to ensure his “very last vote shall be against Brexit.”

Unfortunately for Seb, he clearly hasn’t realised his vote against the Withdrawal Agreement will in fact be a vote in favour of No Deal. Given that the UK Parliament has voted to leave and will not extend Article 50 any longer, a WTO exit would now be the outcome if the EU Parliament fails to ratify the agreement. Who knew Seb has been a sleeper agent this whole time?…

mdi-timer January 24th 2020 @ 2:15 pm 24th Jan 2020 @ 2:15 pm mdi-comment Comments
European Parliament Trade Committee Boss: UK-EU FTA Can Be Completed This Year

German MEP Bernd Lange is Chair of the European Parliament’s Trade Committee. If his sentiment this morning is reflected in the Commission, the UK-EU FTA negotiations could be a lot more cordial than the Brexit ones of the last few years ever were.

Speaking on the Today Programme this morning, Lange said that “it is possible to have a trade deal done in this year”, striking a very different tone from a more salty Ursula¬†von der¬†Leyen last month.

Lange accepted that it’s “clearly not possible” for the UK to be subject to ECJ arbitration in the future relationship, saying there will be a “state to state dispute mechanism”,¬†and rounded off by saying UK-EU relations will perhaps be even better after Brexit. As Brexiteers have been saying for years, the UK can now stop being a bad tenant and become a good neighbour…¬†

mdi-timer January 23rd 2020 @ 9:03 am 23rd Jan 2020 @ 9:03 am mdi-comment Comments
Union Jack to be Flown Down the Mall to Mark Brexit

The Government has already announced its official plans to commemorate Britain leaving the EU at 11pm on 31st January, however a new victory has been won after minister Nigel Adams signed off on the Union Jack being flown down the Mall to celebrate Brexit. Her Majesty will be delighted given her support for the cause

In addition to the Union Jack flying in Parliament Square, a light display in Downing Street and a countdown clock being projected against No. 10, new intake Tory MP, Dehenna Davison, has spoken of her delight at securing the victory, saying “After discussing this with the Minister multiple times over the past few weeks, I am delighted that he has today instructed officials to ensure the Union Jack is flown down the Mall on Brexit Day”, also highlighting the minimal cost to the taxpayer from the move.¬†Unlike getting Big Ben to bong again…

mdi-timer January 22nd 2020 @ 7:53 pm 22nd Jan 2020 @ 7:53 pm mdi-comment Comments
Business Confidence Booms as Threat of Corbyn Dies

The¬†CBI’s¬†rolling survey of British business confidence in the UK has seen optimism in British factories hit its highest level since 2014; leaping from -44 in October to +23 in January. Prizes for guessing what event in between may have triggered the leap…

The leap – coming only a week before Britain finally Brexits – is confirmation that growth is settling into top gear since the pre-Election uncertainty was ended, and once again undermines the arguments of remainers with the biggest quarterly swing since records began in 1958. The Boris bounce in action proving the gloomsters and doomsters wrong…

mdi-timer January 22nd 2020 @ 3:53 pm 22nd Jan 2020 @ 3:53 pm mdi-comment Comments
What’s Happening with the Brexit Party?

Remember the Brexit Party? Perhaps not, but they were once a political force, winning the 2019 EU elections just four months after they’d be born; yet seven months later they went on to a staggering election showing of no seats. Guido realised no other hacks had mentioned the party since the election, so he thought he’d check in with them…

Guido learns the party isn’t going anywhere for the moment, unlike other Brexit groups like¬†Brexit Central¬†who have announced they’re closing shop at the end of the month. Instead, the remaining staff – slimmed down considerably since the election – have their eye on a new deadline of this December, ensuring they are fully operational and able to “pounce”¬†in case Boris starts drifting towards a softer Brexit.

The big question remains under what guise the party continues – here there are conflicting reports; with one source claiming they are preparing to rebrand and re-launch as the touted ‘Reform Party’ ahead of the local elections in May, whereas another senior source was coy in saying the ‘Reform Party’ has been completely signed off, with other “interesting options being considered”.¬†The source wouldn’t be pressed, however insisted they are – without a sense of irony – looking to Europe for their inspiration…

mdi-timer January 17th 2020 @ 4:19 pm 17th Jan 2020 @ 4:19 pm mdi-comment Comments
The Big Big Ben Brexit Bong Bung Bonanza

The biggest issue of our day continues to drag on – whether Big Ben will bong for Brexit. Despite Boris promising the Government was looking at a way for people to bung a bob for a Big Ben bong, it took StandUp4Brexit¬†to launch an official crowdfunder last night, which in 14 hours has raised ¬£47,000 from 3,300 people – ¬£1,000 of which came from Mark Francois. Only ¬£450,000 to go…

Unfortunately for those 3,300 people, it looks like a new hurdle has been put up, as Commons officials have said they will refuse any public cash to pay for the installation of the Big Ben bonger, saying there is “no legal basis”¬†for them to accept public donations.¬†Scrooges…

Not only might Big Ben not bong, but it sounds like Farage’s planned Parliament Square party won’t be as explosive as hoped; as Farage and Tice’s application to launch fireworks from a barge on the Thames fizzles out following officials at the Port of London Authority¬†– which manages the Thames – refusing permission. Tice has had to put out a public plea to anyone in the Westminster area with a balcony or roof to launch fireworks off instead.¬†Anyone lucky enough to have the property, get in touch…

UPDATE: 

Boris’s Bonkers ‘Bung a Bob for a Big Ben Bong’ Bid Binned

mdi-timer January 16th 2020 @ 10:16 am 16th Jan 2020 @ 10:16 am mdi-comment Comments
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