Change, whatever that meant, had finally come to Britain. The Tories suffered their worst general election battering in modern history, with Labour sailing to a 174 seat majority that was just shy of Tony Blair’s 178-seat whopper in 1997. A fact that annoys Morgan McSweeney to this day…
One after the other, Tory big beasts fell: Jacob Rees-Mogg, Penny Mordaunt, Grant Shapps, Gillian Keegan, Alex Chalk, Simon Hart, Johnny Mercer, Lucy Frazer, and Mark Harper all lost their seats. The real Portillo moment came on the morning of the 5th July, when Liz Truss lost by just over 600 votes to Labour candidate Terry Jermy. The Tories were down to a rump of 121 MPs…
Reform UK won five MPs, with Nigel Farage entering Parliament for the first time. Flanked by Richard Tice, Lee Anderson, Rupert Lowe and James McMurdoch, Farage arrived in Westminster warning “the fox is in the henhouse“. This was just the start…
The new Prime Minister sauntered into Downing Street and began appointing his Cabinet. This normally takes a day or two. For Sir Keir, the process stretched on and on, as every appointment needed Sue Gray’s blessing, who was probably too busy moving Morgan’s desk further away from the PM’s to notice any problems. Eventually the first Labour government in 14 years was formed – and Emily Thornberry had to watch it all unfold from the backbenches. Richard Hermer, who had previously represented Gerry Adams, became Attorney General instead. Not that Thornberry cared…
Just weeks after entering government, Rachel Reeves discovered a shocking, totally unforeseen “black hole” in the public finances to the tune of £22 billion. Having promised during the election campaign that she wouldn’t pull a trick like this, it turned out the scale of the problem was so, so much worse than she could possibly have imagined, and drastic action was necessary. The winter fuel allowance was scrapped for millions of pensioners, transport projects were binned… and public sector workers were given inflation-busting pay rises to the delight of the unions. Reeves then promised Things Will Only Get Worse in the autumn Budget…
Over in the US, Trump got shot, Biden was forced out of the race after falling asleep during a debate, and Kamala Harris became the nominee without a single Democrat voting for her. What was supposed to be a dull rematch of the 2020 race was turning into one of the most dramatic election campaigns in modern US history. Sky News won the Guido award for ‘worst take’ after the Trump shooting: “Nothing justifies an assassination bid – but did Trump play part in changing the rules of engagement?”…
Honourable mentions:
Guido Seat Predictions Beat Every Single Final MRP
Tugendhat Campaign Executes Hasty Motto Change
Khan Flies off the Handle When Asked About Two-Child Benefit Cap
Headline of the Month
Red Wall Labour backbencher Jonathan Brash told GB News that Starmer should resign:
“I’m completely fed up about it, and I think it’s got to the point now where I genuinely think that, as far as the Prime Minister is concerned, it’s not a case of if, it’s when.”