It’s that day again and numerous SW1 denizens spent the morning with a sweat on their brows attempting to work out what was an April Fool’s joke and what wasn’t. Has anyone checked in on Peston?
Some of the highlights:
UK Defence Journal published a series of articles, including details of the “introduction of a new fleet of stealth inflatable warships, designed to be rapidly deployed and almost invisible to enemy radar.” It could be worth giving an inflatable Prime Minister a go too…
Guido exclusively revealed CCTV footage from the moments before Morgan McSweeney’s phone containing his messages with Peter Mandelson was ‘stolen’ in Westminster. It’s jaw-dropping stuff…
Ex-GB News presenter Dan Wootton revealed details of The Farage Factor: “GB News is partnering with Reform UK to launch a new reality talent show hybrid where the winner will become a guaranteed candidate in a safe constituency in the general election.” Would probably be more effective than the current vetting…
Sunday Sport produced a front page nib:
Pollster More In Common’s director Luke Tryl advertised its new product for domestic disputes like who should do the dishes: “Now you can end those rows with our new service “Settle It” & let the public pick who is right in a nationally representative poll.” If you want something done right, use a poll…
The official X account of the Israeli government issued a statement: “In an unexpected development, the UN has issued a statement today that does not blame Israel. Delegates are currently investigating how this happened.”
A dishonourable mention goes to Dawn Butler for the most egregious yawner: “I have been appointed as Minister for Hope and Positivity in the Cabinet Office.” Fellow Labour MP Stella Creasy put in a bit more effort by posting about her new job as GB News presenter…
Speaking to Sky News off the back of Rachel Reeves’ Air Passenger Duty hike, Ryanair chief executive Michael O’Leary said:
“Labour is dependent on those Red Wall seats, and yet every move she makes poisons economic growth and damages the UK’s recovery… it’s the Chancellor who stumbles from policy misstep to policy misstep… I think her policy decisions are incredibly stupid.”
