A parody song by Sir Starmer and the Granny Harmers, “Freezing This Christmas,” has stormed to the top of iTunes, claiming the number 1 spot with over 3 million views across all platforms. The group also launched a fundraiser for Age UK alongside the song, reaching £10,000 in donations so far. Guido recommends co-conspirators give the Labour-bashing anthem a watch. Can anyone sing in CCHQ?
Read the full lyrics below:
Try to imagine a house that’s full of cold,
Try to imagine being 80 years old,
That’s where I’ll be since the cure left me,
I wish tears could heat my home.
What can I do without fuel?
I’ve got no place, no place to go,
It’ll be freezing this Christmas without fuel at home,
It’ll be freezing this Christmas while K-Star is warm.
It’ll be cold, so cold without fuel at home this Christmas.
And she told me that she doesn’t get out of bed till midday,
Because she didn’t want to turn the heating on.
Each time I remember, I’ve paid taxes all my life,
I cry as I wonder: Will I make it?
Will my wife?
I just break down as I look around,
And the only things I see are foreign walls and open doors,
And a freezing OAP.
It’ll be freezing this Christmas while the money goes abroad.
It’ll be freezing this Christmas while Rachel Reeves is a fraud.
It’ll be cold, so cold without fuel at home this Christmas.
We inherited a situation where there was a £22 billion black hole in the public finances. (Reeves speaking).
Do you remember last year when Rishi was here?
We never thought there’d be an end.
And I remember looking at you then,
And I remember thinking that next Christmas things won’t be this bad.
For us, but darling, this year things are even worse.
And we really, we really need warmth.
But two-tier here doesn’t care at all.
It’ll be freezing this Christmas without fuel at home,
It’ll be freezing this Christmas while K-Star is warm.
It’ll be cold, so cold without fuel at home this Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Keir, I hope you can sleep at night.
Lucy Powell on LBC, asked by Tom Swarbrick for her reaction to Labour MP Samantha Niblett’s call for a ‘summer of sex’ debate in Parliament: “I personally don’t own any sex toys, but each to their own… I’m not really sure that’s the right place for it, no.”