There we were, Labour’s first government conference in many years, and their leader’s first as prime minister. He began by praising the introductory speaker, a youth from an unfortunate background who had through hard work and ambition risen to a place at university. “You’re doing something you’ve never done before. Fantastic!” To which hecklers might have responded, “Like you, mush!”

How fantastic will Keir be? It is increasingly likely that he will prove himself to be a genuinely transformative premier.

The speech itself was a disappointment, of course, he always manages that. But in this case, he disappointed most of all those expecting the familiar amalgam of boredom, irritation and political incompetence blended into a phlegm of sinusitis clichés.

From that metric, the speech was a triumph.

Indeed, there was something for everyone.

He has developed an easy demeanour offering glimpses of his personal life to please the pensioners; a list of legislative changes already in train to please his activists; and a sober series of socialisms for his Clement Attlee fans.

There was a self-contradicting statement to please Labour’s philologists: “Country first, party second,” he said. “That is not a slogan.”

And, in a spirit of inclusive generosity, there was more than enough piety and piffle to please the naysayers, wreckers and blockers. His talk of rebuilding Britain, the importance of joy in life, and that “politics can be on the side of truth and justice” cheered up very many of us. That was bested by his desire for a Britain where everybody had an equal voice. That his care worker sister could walk into a room and command equal respect to the prime minister.

It’s hard to critique that without resorting to farmyard language. Readers may care to try, it is beyond your sketch writer.

There were passages where his solid, sober, serious demeanour carried off really quite authentically. There was something in him ancestral to the Labour tradition, something of a Gordon Brown after a successful lobotomy.

But he went too far when he said, “Britain is no longer sure of itself. Our story is uncertain”. Surely that’s not so? Surely we know we’re a country of colonising, white-supremacist slavers who are going to die by climate change because of the Industrial Revolution that still sends Global Majority infants up chimneys? Isn’t that what the Left have been beating into our children for years?

There were also a number of sausages to fortune to please those who take a long view of politics – as long, in this case, as 18 months.

“The patient, calm, determined era of politics as service has begun,” he said, in a phrase to be remembered and relished. That ranks and rankles alongside “a kinder, gentler politics”, and “a politics that treads more lightly on people’s lives”.

How patient, how calm will the Government be when the Shires rise up against the “rebuilding Britain” project, the unions are striking to take over the economy, and the power is available on Third World rolling blackouts? When the Cabinet is leaking and briefing and scrabbling each other’s eyes out in a narcotic frenzy of ambition?

But that may be just a beautiful dream.

Where were we?

“This is a Government of Service. And that means, whether we agree or not, I will always treat you with the respect of candour, not the distraction of bluster.” Allied to that, he promised, to applause, to legislate before April for a duty of candour with criminal sanctions, imposed on all public servants. He will need a prepared answer when he is asked if the duty applies to prime ministers.

He kept saying, “Britain belongs to you” but never candidly said what he meant by “belongs”, and certainly never said what he meant by “you”. Were gender-critical, climate sceptic Leavers included? Probably not. Were violent, thuggish, racist, modesty-patrolling jihadis included? Probably yes. That at least shows strategic foresight preparing for an Isis party with 35 seats below the gangway after the next election.

Another interesting absence in the speech – the words “net zero”. Starmer and his Chancellor are keeping their options open on that – something which could have been read on the face of Ed Miliband’s in the front row of the stalls. That face said, “My boiler ban is never going to happen. I am going to have to take over the government, for the sake of the climate.” Time alone will tell.

Keir certainly persuaded this observer that his administration is going to be supremely active and energetic. And that he will have a a large and lasting effect. It is a safe bet that within the life of his government he will transform Britain in ways that are unimaginable to us now.

In five years, Keir will have transformed the electorate and persuaded 20 million constituents –utterly inconceivable as it may be – that voting Conservative is no longer ridiculous.