Guido was flicking through the government’s civil service job listings this afternoon and noticed a new job advert for a “Nuclear Emergency Response Manager – Navy Command” at His Majesty’s Naval Base Clyde, “home to the United Kingdom’s Strategic Nuclear Deterrent“. The MoD wants someone to help deliver “a Nuclear Emergency Response capability” by providing “training to the Nuclear Emergency Response Organisation“. Their hire will “ensure all nuclear emergency response facilities and support equipment on the Faslane site are managed and maintained at a constant state of readiness” and maintain “the currency of documentation supporting Nuclear Emergency Response Arrangements“. In other words – an important cog in averting global nuclear Armageddon…

The modest salary of £35,290 is dwarfed by other taxpayer-funded positions which Guido ventures are less vital to the public’s welfare. TfL for example is right now hiring a “diversity and inclusion lead” for £80,000 to “champion initiatives that support the D&I agenda“, while the NHS has hired diversity and inclusion managers on salaries of up to £108,000. Guido will resist a “Dr. Strangelove” pun…