The latest gossip at Tory conference is the government is pushing ahead with plans to ban smoking entirely for future generations, with an announcement rumoured for tomorrow in the PM’s main floor speech. Rishi was reported to be considering the move at the end of last month, and now Guido hears he’s made the decision, along with banning disposable vapes. This would be a long-sought triumph for nanny staters.

The rumour did the rounds last night, with a government source admitting it is currently the plan. The policy would see everyone born after a certain year – thought to be 2008 – banned entirely from purchasing cigarettes. So one day a 45-year old will have to linger outside the shop while their 46-year old pal buys a 20-pack inside…