Sure the economy is stagnant, migrants are crossing the Channel thick and fast and there’s a war in Europe, yet this hasn’t stopped the government getting on with the people’s priorities: making it harder to buy whipped cream. The government has confirmed it will ban Nitrous Oxide – commonly known as laughing gas – by the end of the year, with users facing up to two years in prison if caught. The Home Office say it’s part of the government’s ‘Anti-Social Behaviour Action Plan’, with Suella Braverman talking tough on “flagrant drug taking in the streets”. It’s no laughing matter…

“The British people are fed up with yobs abusing drugs in public spaces and leaving behind a disgraceful mess for others to clean up. Earlier this year the Prime Minister and I promised a zero-tolerance approach to antisocial behaviour and that is what we are delivering. If you are caught using ‘laughing gas’ as a drug, you could be hit with a hefty fine or face jail time.”

The government seems to be criminalising littering which, as far as Guido can tell, is already illegal…

The government say there will still be exemptions, such as in “medical or catering industries“. Guido has asked if this means whipped cream chargers are now banned for under-21s, as in New York. They said it’s “not about size but legitimate use – all Nos will be unlawful to possess, unless exempt for a legitimate purpose“. Expect lots of teenagers to develop a keen interest in baking and desserts next year…