Despite Sir Keir’s well-maintained image as a law-abiding prosecutor, yet another indiscretion has been added to his long charge sheet. Politico’s latest Westminster Insider Podcast includes the scoop that Sir Softie fell foul of French police during a lads trip in the 80s – after the vanilla Labour Leader tried to sell ice cream to tourists. Keir was lured to the French riviera by the promise of lucrative beach selling opportunities… only to arrive and find out it was illegal.

Sir Kier’s uni mate, John Murray, explains how he “did get arrested” however he “can’t say” if Starmer met the same fate. He adds “he probably had his ice creams confiscated”…

A Labour spokesman said:

“We are happy to make clear that no arrests were made, or even names taken, and that the only loss of liberty occurred to some cut-price ice creams.”

Guido thought arch-remainer Starmer was in favour of European regulations…