Watch Out Tories, Keir Shows Signs Of Accelerating Evolution mdi-fullscreen

What a jolly LOTO we had today. He looked popular. Quite a difficult thing to pull off when nobody likes you. He did ease, he did relaxed, he looked as though he could get away with sunglasses. He laughed, moved around, joshed Yvette, adding some oil to her vinegary smile. That will surely increase her appetite appeal. And he made a sly little joke about Suella’s travails – an immigration aside about not coping with “a points-based system”. The essence of wit is surprise, so Keir making people laugh caused a great shout of approval and calls of More!

He is evolving, there on the wrong side of the despatch boxes. “Can you see it, yet?” as Rolf Harris used to say. It is possible to see in sketched outline, a future where Keir establishes parity with our elfin PM. And if that picture develops, he might create himself a John Major for the election.

Rishi’s delivery is decaying every week. These are technical notes, forgive me. It’s the prime minister’s manner. His matter is good. His command of detail is that of a pub quiz Master. But matter matters less than manner and Rishi’s vocal delivery is a loser’s.

His powerful rebuttals end in a plaintive, pleading, rising terminal. It is a wrong way of speaking for a prime minister. It sounds like a cry from the witness box to an sceptical jury. Credibility comes from the ease and authority of stating facts, rather than beliefs. Ian Paisley has that gift  Stephen Flynn can do it, Jeffrey Donaldson – in fact, the nations seem to have it inbuilt in a way the English don’t.

In practical terms, Rishi should realise he’s not talking to Keir, PMQs is not a forum to persuade an Opposition. It is to point out to the television audience where the party opposite has misunderstood. He doesn’t need exasperation, incredulity or impatience. Amused is what works – as Keir’s points-based’ observation showed.

Rishi’s evolutionary response is relatively simple. He needs to speak as though he’s a foot taller and 50lbs heavier.

Be alert Tories, Labour Nouveau is developing.

Let me call in evidence Stella Creasey. She rose to speak and we prepared to wallow in some sobbing horror – but our hopes were dashed by a sensible and well-turned point about Brexit, unelected officials and letting, via Amendment 42, “the Blob have more say”. If Stella Creasey can make an interesting Blob point Labour must be on an inflection point. If this goes on, they’ll be promising to make the trains run on time and Keir will be personally throwing Oil protesters to the pavement.

Traditional Tory values of sloth and stupidity may not be enough to carry the day. They really must be aware that just because Labour is a line up of malcontent bench monkeys they are not disqualified from government.

A Labour government! We catastrophists, we Armageddonistas hardly dare hope. We will be in heaven (literally, if they can get their death squads off working from home).

Labour will be as unprepared as any to cope with the chaos of Net Zero, Whitehall’s Declaration of Independence, the public service revolt, the death spiral of over-regulation and hyper-dirigisme. When the history of modern civilisation is written Britain will go down as the ones who led the way in and out of it. As politicians like to claim, we will be, at last, genuine world-first, world class leaders.

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mdi-timer May 24 2023 @ 15:47 mdi-share-variant mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-printer
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