Sub-par Shadow Ministers shouldn’t expect to waltz straight into a government department if Labour win in 2024. Despite publicly insisting he’s “happy” with his current team, party insiders say Starmer is still planning to fast track certain newly-elected MPs “straight to ministerial office” after the election, quickly dumping lacklustre performers and replacing them with trusted Blairites. There’s a general view that with so few shadow cabinet members having government experience, courting back old faces with the immediate promise of a red box will project competence. It’s the same justification used for appointing Sue Gray as Chief of Staff. The likes of Douglas Alexander wouldn’t be spending much time on the backbenches…

Rumours continue to swirl about the return of other ‘big beasts’, including David Miliband. When asked about a comeback on Andrew Marr’s show last November, the former Foreign Secretary didn’t rule it out. He’s amping up his UK media appearances recently – despite being based in New York – having showed up on Sky News just last week. Whether he’d be offered the same job again to tease him back is another matter; David Lammy is expected to stay put. By coincidence Guido has noticed that an increasing amount of fundraising advertising for the International Rescue Committee (President and CEO, David Miliband) can be seen on screens in the UK. Featuring David Miliband of course:

Elsewhere, another ex-Labour MP is rumoured to be plotting a triumphant return: Dr Paul Williams up in Stockton South. Not exactly a big beast, although after so many NHS strikes, it’s good to hear doctors are at least looking to get back to work…