The latest update to MPs Expenses – covering October and November of 2022 – were published yesterday and Guido has been trawling through the data to keep co-conspirators informed of the excesses of our elected representatives.

Despite facing a conviction for harassment and government-toppling sexual misconduct allegations, Claudia Webbe and Chris Pincher are still doing alright for themselves. Both get their costly phone bills funded by the taxpayer, for Pincher, this amounts to £66 a month, whilst Webbe claims a stonking £117 every month. It doesn’t take a genius to deduce why they’re forking out so much – Claudia previously displayed her high-end iPhone during a Commons faux-pas. To put their extravagance into context, spend-thrift Jeremy Corbyn, who also expenses his phone bill, claims £6 a fortnight.

It wouldn’t be an expenses update without luxury tech purchases.  Ranil Jayawardena spent £1,998 on a mobile phone. That’s more than the cost of an iPhone 14 Pro Max with maximum specification. Does he understand that to cut taxes we have to cut spending? Former Apple computer salesman Fabian Hamilton has further indulged his Apple exuberance. After Guido previously revealed he’d spent £3,177 on an iPad, iPad Mini, MacBook Air and another MacBook Air 13.3 inch, he’s now added a new iPhone 14 Pro Max to the list – at a cost of £1,307. If that wasn’t enough, Fabian also expensed four separate phone bill payments over October and November – to the tune of £363. He’s giving Angela a run for her money…

Guido spends £12.50 a month on his phone with unlimited texts, calls and data plus international roaming. There should be some kind of cap on what MPs can claim. If they want Kim Kardashian style blingy devices let them pay the difference. 

MPs have also been expensing cushy foreign trips, some of the top destinations this winter were Iceland, Rome and Berlin, and they haven’t exactly been frugal with their hotel stays. Amongst their accommodation expenses were the luxury Palazzo Cardinal Cesi, expensed by Eddie Hughes, and the Boutique Arthaus Hotel, frequented by Martin Docherty-Hughes. Perhaps the most egregious travel expenses came from SNP MP Phillipa Whitford. In addition to £550 in hotel expenses, the MP spent a stonking £1,405 on one flight to Berlin…

Not content with enjoying her taxpayer-funded jolly, Phillipa took to Twitter to complain – obviously about Brexit.

In the long ‘All Passports’ queue at #Berlin airport while Hans waltzes through electronic passport gates - sigh! #BrexitBenefit!

— Dr Philippa Whitford (@Dr_PhilippaW) October 14, 2022

A little gratitude wouldn’t go amiss…

Co-conspirators can search for the expenses of their MP here