As Rishi faces backbench criticism for easing his rhetoric on China, Guido can reveal yet more incidences of warming relations with the authoritarian state. The Treasury today rolled out the red carpet to Chinese influence. Iain Duncan Smith should avert his gaze now.

In a special themed meal, the department displayed Chinese flags and oriental decorations. Knowing Whitehall, someone’s going down for cultural appropriation.

Co-conspirators won’t be surprised to see that the tofu-eating wokerati are making themselves at home in the Treasury, with “tofu, water chestnut and mushroom in black bean sauce” one of the meals on offer – for a modest £5.02. The meal went down well. A source claims the queue was the longest they’ve seen, adding that the dumplings “looked peng”. Guido’s just glad the Chancellor wasn’t behind the move. The coffers couldn’t handle the strain of subsidised sushi.