The brightest minds in the SNP have once again served up the goods. According to official Scottish government documents, apparently the only difference between a Tesco Value Beer and a finely-brewed, caramel-sweet lager is a decent marketing budget. In a report assessing the merits of banning booze ads to prevent alcohol abuse, the SNP conclude:

“… without branding and other marketing strategies, alcohol products in each beverage sub-sector are essentially variations of the same thing.”

This has inevitably damped spirits north of the border, given one of the country’s most popular and historic exports just happens to be… Scotch whisky. Blair Bowman, an award-winning whisky consultant and broker, erupted at the claim, telling the Scottish Herald:

“… In one sentence, they’ve dismissed centuries of heritage and culture. Scotch whisky is our biggest food and drink export. It’s madness. They don’t even understand the product. What makes it so special is the uniqueness of every single diverse style of distillery. And they’ve just said, ‘oh, they’re all the same, so you might as well just put them in the same bottle’.”

Guido’s pouring one out for Blair. This isn’t even the first time the SNP’s relationship with whisky bosses has been on the rocks. Back in August, Sturgeon launched another review, this one looking into the “health and environmental impacts” of cutting down on Scotch production. The findings are due in March. No doubt that’ll kick off another spirited debate….