This Boxing Day just gone, Twitter commemorated the third anniversary of Jolyon battering a fox to death in his garden while wearing a kimono. Guido can now reveal he’s moved on from killing foxes to threatening other wildlife. Last March, Jolyon submitted a planning application to add a new garden shed and wine cellar to his South London mansion. Months on, and as is the way with Britain’s planning system, very little work is underway. 

Some cause of the delay appears to be from The Walworth Society, who in March last year raised concerns about “potential damage to the tree roots of the large trees in this garden”

“These are very significant trees for the local area and there is the potential for the depth of foundations to damage them and thus deprive the trees of water.

The concerns are exacerbated by the fact that the ground floor appears to be dug into the ground. The aim should be to minimise the impact of any foundations.”

Two months after this ecological complaint from the Walworth Society, Jolyon was forced to commission an arboricultural impact assessment report, the conclusion of which meant the lives of two lovely innocent trees were saved. As of December, revised plans are still being submitted. Guido looks forward to being invited to the housewarming as and when…