While Matt may not be King of the Jungle, at least he’s still got a friend in Desmond Swayne. Speaking this morning during DCMS questions, Swayne hailed Hancock’s tenure down-under as such a success that he deserves to have the whip restored on merit alone.

“[For the] sheer spunk of my right honourable friend the Member for West Suffolk’s contribution to television, it would be churlish not to restore the whip, wouldn’t it?”

Culture Secretary Michelle Donelan joined in commending Matt for swallowing bits of animals “with gusto”, though reminded the House she doesn’t have the power to restore the whip herself, no matter how many anuses Hancock chewed through:

“As my right honourable friend will know, that is not a decision for me. But we can always depend on the Member for West Suffolk to attack every challenge with gusto. And I wasn’t surprised at all to see him taking on all sorts of parts of animals during the show…

Donelan then went on to insist that, unlike two of her predecessors at DCMS, she has no plans to head to the jungle herself any time soon:

“…it has become a little bit of a thing for my predecessors to join that show, but I hope that I can provide reassurance that I have no intentions of ever doing so.”

Guido can’t imagine why…