The choir to which Nicola Sturgeon preached enjoyed her sermon very much. She showered on them not hellfire but the fire of heaven. She told her party what loving people the Scots were, how virtuous, how kind, how compassionate her party was. This assault on their operating practices must have enraged SNP activists (“Calling me compassionate? **** *** ****!”) but in solidarity, they clapped along with everyone else.
The NHS was to be incorporated into an independent Scotland’s constitution, Sturgeon said. “Which will allow us not to resuscitate detestable Tories from their hospital comas,” she didn’t add. To be fair, it would have jarred. Their loving compassionate natures would have been confused.
Independence was her theme, and good old Scottish optimism would get them there. Their abundance of virtues was matched by an abundance of natural resources. A new Jerusalem was to be built on Scottish renewable energy. Yes, an inspiring economy of greater equality, cheaper power, lower living costs, wealthier pensioners and happier children would be built on the endless natural resources with which their country is blessed.
There is that difficulty with renewable energy she rather glossed over. Sunny as Scotland is, the wind doesn’t blow for 60 days a year. This is going to lead to intermittent independence. Perhaps for two months a year they can rejoin the rest of the UK and perhaps claim their £30 billion Barnett allowance while they’re there.
The loving kindness at the heart of an SNP independence project is going to provide a home for the world’s asylum seekers. This would certainly provide economical labour force but it suffers from the problem that asylum seekers really don’t want to live in Scotland. As the premier had disapproving words for the Tories’ Rwanda policy, maybe she could offer Scotland as a deterrent destination where Westminster could send illegal migrants? It would help boost replace the population loss of skilled workers leaving for London? And it would certainly boost migrant demand for a billet in Rwanda. This might be the superior co-operation of independent nations she mentioned.
As she spoke of her determination to gain independence for her country, sterling rose briefly. The prospect of an annual £30 billion boost to the Exchequer was welcomed. But the markets realised it was a chimera, an impossible dream.
She concluded with a thrilling peroration of the “overwhelming power of democracy to triumph.” Unless it was Brexit-related, obviously. Or anything to do with Tories. No, that was understood.