Apologies to anyone still eating breakfast, Guido’s just been sent a press release from the Tories’ LGBT wing announcing a new range of “limited-edition” political-themed condoms in time for this year’s party conference in Birmingham. Some of which bear the names of MPs…

Slogans include:

• Strong and Stable
• Unleash Britain’s Potential
• Honourable Member
• Labour isn’t working, but this condom will (*99% of the time)

Some patrons of the group, including two MPs also have personalised versions:

•  Gary Sambrook: Strap it for Sambrook
• Peter Gibson: Glove it for Gibbo
• Andrew Boff: Boff – Safely
• Emma Best: Bang for Best
• Nick Rogers: Roger for Nick

Not a Johnson pun in sight…

LGBT Conservatives chair Elena Bunbury comments, “This is just a small step in the work we have done towards safer sex, but we hope it provides a fun tool and useful memento for all those using them.” A fun tool indeed…