On Tuesday the PM paid a visit to Lancaster House for the FCDO Heads of Mission conference, alongside Ben Wallace and Liz Truss. Plenty of diplomats took to Twitter to show off the very serious topics that had been under discussion: “changing global context”, “how to better protect and promote UK interests”, “international development strategy” all among them. Word reaches Guido it wasn’t a wholly serious affair, however…

Taking to the stage for a sit-down interview in front of the best and brightest of Britain’s diplomatic core, Boris apparently had the crowd in stitches thanking them for their hard and vital diplomatic work… in securing Britain’s weekend Eurovision result, adding he could barely believe it when France gave us “douze points!”. Guido also hears that while DCMS’s Eurovision priority is helping Ukraine in any way they can to host next year’s contest, an offer to host it in the UK if they can’t has been made…