The winner of last week’s caption contest was Notional Trust with:

“Ah, officer, could you clear away the pickles, this chapati and that saag aloo, please.”
” We’re sorry, Sir Keir, as police protection officers we’ve been told that we mustn’t take sides.”

Get in touch for your copy of Douglas Murray’s “The War On The West: How To Prevail In The Age Of Unreason”