Cast your mind back to August 2021 when Guido reported that professional loser Jolyon Maugham had expanded his work from being defeated in High Court legal cases to being defeated on personal planning applications. At the time he’d been wanting a new garden wall, presumably to keep out the foxes, and a conservatory. These were rejected due to concerns over the effect “of the development on the character and appearance of the property”.

Trust Jolyon not to take no for an answer; Guido now spots he’s trying again, this time with an added “wine store”. His architectural team have also rebranded the conservatory into a “garden room” which will make the garden more secure – not from urban vermin, but from the general public who can presently view Jolyon’s kimono-filled home from a neighbouring public garden.

No doubt that regardless of the outcome, he’ll spin it as a victory…