Coronavirus has struck down former PM David Cameron, just days before he was set to travel to Jacinda’s prison island of New Zealand, to attend the conference of the centre-right National Party. The party, bracing for an election in 2023 after St Jacinda’s 2020 majority victory, were hoping to hear from Britain’s ex-PM. Now Guido sees George Osborne will finally step into his ex-boss’s shoes after agreeing to fill in.

This morning the National Party leader Chris Luxon argued that centre-right parties worldwide face a perception problem, especially appearing uncompassionate, and said the party wants to “detoxify” itself like the UK Tories did in the 2010 election. Let’s hope Osborne manages to stay Covid-free, or the conference will end up facing Theresa May’s extortionate speaking fees…