Recess has increasingly become synonymous with the annual reemergence of Extinction Rebellion. While usual nauseous, this year’s eco-commie disruption was more bearable thanks to the rise of activist Laura Amherst who successfully pushed two major issues onto Guido’s agenda. Laying bare the naked reality of climate change…
While Laura was broadly successful her rapid rise to prominence paled in comparison to the Taliban’s, who managed a blitzkrieg takeover of Afghanistan after Biden unilaterally withdrew US troops; pulling the rug out from under the feet of the existing regime and leaving the UK scrambling to get our boys and other citizens out. Oh, and those infernal pets of Pen Farthing…
While Guido didn’t get too involved in foreign policy, his video compilation of the Taliban retaking gyms and amusement parks – with an appropriate backing track – proved popular. It seems the one person not despairing at the news out of the Middle East was Canada’s minister for equality, who Guido got on camera calling the Taliban “our brothers”. She subsequently lost her seat in the country’s general election later this year…
Oh, and how did the loony left respond to the takeover of Afghanistan? By calling on the west to pay the Taliban reparations…
On a lighter note, freedom day and the ability for politicos to return fully to the lash prompted some classic booze-based stories in August. Guido’s favourite was undoubtedly Manchester Met Tory Society‘s summer party, where, in black tie, the partying politicos chanted for Farage and ended with one member heading for hospital. Their classic young Tory antics were overshadowed only by Michael Gove who was filmed clubbing up in Scotland. Guido revealed his daughter Beatrice was less-than-impressed with his dance moves. While Gove murdered the dance floor his pals in government were busy trying to murder something else entirely: Geronimo the Alpaca…
Honourable mentions:
Headline of the month: Harwood Promises to Kill Geronimo
