Testing Shows Geronimo Didn’t Have TB

Co-conspirators will no doubt remember the August battle to save Geronimo, the adorable alpaca beloved by the entire nation. After weeks of media smears claiming Geronimo had tested positive for bovine TB, the heartless and bloodthirsty civil servants at DEFRA persuaded George Eustice to execute the furry friend. Among the biggest cheerleaders for this course of action was one Tom Harwood, who claimed he must be offed “so that others may live”.

Now it emerges Harwood and his chums were wrong. According to post-mortem tests, Geronimo likely never had bovine tuberculosis – despite a forensic analysis, no evidence for the disease could be found. Veterinary scientist Dr. Iain McGill, who reviewed the results on behalf of Geronimo’s owner Helen Macdonald, said:

“Today is a very sad day. There is nothing in the post mortem results so far that give any evidence of infection in Geronimo. We always felt Geronimo’s diagnosis was unsafe.”

Having campaigned so ferociously to see the harmless creature executed, Harwood has remained unusually quiet today after these new details emerged, despite Guido approaching him for comment. The fact he’s just arrived back in the UK and is no doubt exhausted with jet lag is no excuse…
mdi-account-multiple-outline Geronimo Tom Harwood
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