Simon Fell’s office has denied sending an email en masse to MPs’ offices that claimed he is soon to resign due to plans to “open a bed and breakfast in Dorset”; and “bleep” his husband “senseless” while wallowing in “matrimonial bliss”. His staff described the claims as “homophobic, misogynistic, and quite frankly disgusting and upsetting.”

Among other claims, recipients of the email came to understand that Fell “stood for [election] for a laugh”. It added he hopes to host a wedding reception in Charing Cross’s Heaven, and encourages all recipients of the email to attend. It’s a shame it’s spam, sounds great fun…

After enough staffers complained about the bizarre-sounding email, a member of Fell’s office sent a WhatsApp message round to parliamentarians denying that the email was sent by Simon, asking any recipients of the email to forward it on for the police’s perusal. Guido understands the sender is a well-known irritant to Fell’s office, with Guido hearing he may even be wanted by Interpol…