The North Cypriot PM, Ersan Saner, has had to resign effective immediately after a video emerged of him masturbating to a woman via FaceTime was leaked by the Mafia.

Saner has spoken of a conspiracy against him and said the whole exercise was “designed to discredit” him. He also claimed “underworld involvement”. He would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for his meddling hands…

“I was the target of very bad defamation with this video, which is a product of processing with the maximum use of technology.”

Guido hopes the next Turkish Cypriot leader will avoid being caught choking his Turkey…